Relax, Ma! It’s Just Poop!

From the “Now I’ve seen EVERYTHING” files:

I was out looking for cool stuff to dazzle you with.

I mean, here at “RR,” we’re all about living off-grid and being self-sufficient. After all, we’re building homes out of Shipping Containers (ISBUs), recycling garbage to use as building materials, and re-using anything we can find, to keep the costs down. It’s about living comfortably, but responsibly. We heat our water using the sun. We power our homes with photovoltaic panels, and even hot air!

And, there’s no shortage of hot air around here! Why? Well, because I’m the resident “guru” of… um…er… never mind!

Okay… I know that my “sparkling wit” and my endless parading of my vast intellect keeps you entertained for about um… er… three seconds… but…

And speaking of, um… “Butts;”

Design gets very literal in this toilet made from poop!

Man, you’d think that they would have thought about using a different color. Yuck.

There’s a rule in inventing  stuff that “form should follow function.” And, it seems that Virginia Gardiner is a follower of that rule. She’s devised an energy generating toilet that is actually made from poop.

Now, I know what you’re thinking! Ewwwwww! (I know, I know… I’m thinkin it too!)

Virgina has developed a pooper that transforms human waste into a highly valued commodity… energy.

(Hey, I coulda called it something else. In fact… Nah, never mind.)

That’s right, this toilet creates energy.

No, I’m not talking about “methane…”  Keep it to yourself, smarty-pants! This is a “family show…”

DO NOT LOOK AT THE FOLLOWING DIAGRAM!

Like you don’t poop, too? Ah, stop complaining! I told you not to look! What a bunch of whiners!

Anyway… Virginia calls it a “LooWatt.” And she says that it’s a low cost, mechanical commode that has a green streak running thru it.

(Note from Editors wife: “Okay, enough talking about “streaks,” this is getting gross…”)

Where was I? Oh yeah… Users of the LooWatt are urged to trade in their um… er… “recyclables” for biofuel. She says that this trade will enhance and sponsor community (urban) infrastructures that will encourage proper waste disposal, minimize water-borne illnesses, and provide a regular source of energy.

(But only if you eat your fiber regularly, huh?)

See? Made you look TWICE! Ha! Just wanted to prove that I didn’t make it up!

Where did an idea like this come from?

Well, some would claim that Virginia has um… er…(say it with me…)  poop on the brain. But… she’s just looking for a solution to that 40% of the  population that lives without toilets. That’s right, she’s trying to help people in Mississippi.  And Alabama. Oh, and quite possibly the Ozarks! Wait… that’s not it…

According to Dwell Magazine (a mag I heartily endorse); “Virginia sought to provide a solution for the 40% of the world’s population that lives without toilets.”

It’s a toilet targeted at the third world, folks. In many developing countries the installation of sewage systems is just about impossible, and we all know that improper waste disposal spreads devastating waterborne illnesses that afflict millions. Hell, around were, we can’t go into the Gulf after it rains because all the sewers back up and then outflow into the water.

But, some of the three-eyed fish are really cool lookin! And tasty!

What in the world was she thinking? Well… It seems that this toilet is designed to solve the global sanitation crisis by creating a new infrastructure.

Finally, I’ll have proof that I’m the “King of Crap!”

The “LooWatt” composting toilet is molded from 90% horse dung.

Yep, horse poop. I’m thinking probably those Budweiser Clydesdales, or their Belgian cousins. Why? Because if this toilet is gonna solve 40% of the world’s poop problem, by making toilets outta horsecrap… you’re gonna need some BIGGGG horses to start with. I’m starting to think that this is one a those “corn ethanol” schemes.

“Look, I don’t care if you’re starving… If we don’t feed the horses, you can’t crap. Period. Just deal with it!”

“But… if I don’t eat, I can’t crap anyway! Whaaa?”

The toilet has a built-in biodegradable lining that stores excrement in a sealed, odor-free container. Once the toilet is full, the user takes the poo package to an outdoor biodigestor, which in exchange provides a free source of biofuel for cooking.

Whaaaaat? Okay, now that’s just gross. I gotta starve so a horse can eat enough to mold a pooper outta it’s poop. Then… I have to collect MY poop, and then carry it off to the marketplace, so I can barter it off for “predigested” biofuel, to cook with? Nuh-uh! I’d rather poop in a hole!

According to experts, the LooWatt has been exhibited around the world, was awarded an honorable mention from the AIGA Aspen Design Challenge, and was a finalist in the Buckminster Fuller Challenge.

Me thinks they were pushing this “exhibit” stuff a bit too far. There are just some things I DON’T want to see!

Okay… so that’s why my “Bubba Box Corten Castle” design didn’t win. It wasn’t worth um… er… “poop.”

If you think this “haul your poop outta the toilet and take it downtown…”  is a good idea, well… you’re probably nuts. But, in a way (okay, you REALLY have to look for it) it makes some sense. Not MY kinda sense, but I’m not exactly the smartest person on the planet. After all, I do live in Mississippi, and I did have another kid, at 50. See? Not too bright!

The people at LooWatt would like you to know that if you’d like to help push the project along, a small donation will net you your very own “poo gem” – a dodecahedron molded from horse manure (makes a swell paperweight, gift or toy!). Yeah that’s just what I need sitting on the mantle…

“What’s this, Ronin?”

“Well, it’s a… um…er… you really don’t wanna know. But I put it up here because Joshua kept trying to put it in his mouth!”

Hey, pony up a bit more cash, and it’ll net you a lovely deer-head candle holder – just the thing to brighten dungy dingy interior spaces.

Ah man… I’m holding out for one of those  “singing fish,” made outta poo-poo. At least they sound like they’re made outta crap!

But, I’ve gotta draw this post to a close. You go off and think about what we’ve learned here… whatever that was!

Me? I’m gonna go eat some more broccoli. I’ve got some tradin to do…

“What? MY poop is worth way more than YOUR poop. Aren’t you paying attention? I’m the KING OF CRAP! I’m gonna need three bags of biofuel if you wanna trade!”

And I thought that “Carbon Trading” was crazy…

PS. I was just kidding… about “Alabama.” Kinda. As for the rest of the stuff… You were thinking it too! Admit it! I’m not the only one who thinks like this!

Or am I? Uh-oh…

And remember, we accept donations. But NOT poop! I mean, I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble with the Post Office…

Bye Bye Mikey…

Okay…

After watching an almost endless loop of “Thriller” video clips, I’m wondering what everyone else is thinking.

I for one, am sad to anyone die before their time. But, I suspect that Michael Jackson had been courting his death for a long time, prior to this.

His family tried to get him into rehab for drug abuse. Morphine always catches up to you, no matter how many times you look over your shoulder at it, as you “run away…”

The prosecutors in California tried to put him into prison, for being “not normal,” to put it politely.

And from watching the spectacle that was Michael’s life… Michael didn’t exactly live on this planet, huh?

His music… well, that tried to put him a step above everyone else, and many would say that he succeeded.

Like many people my age, I grew up listening to Jackson amaze us with his talent, as he slowly slipped away from us…  as his eccentricities and ailments made him more and more reclusive. In a way, he was my generation’s Howard Hughes.

Regardless of how you feel about him as a person, he was a musical genius. And, that’s the way I want to try and remember him. To remember him as  “Wacko Jacko,” or a deviant, or someone I couldn’t trust around my kids… well… that’d just make me sick. And, there’s already enough sickness in the world. So, I’m just gonna get caught up in the “where was I when?” memories that all those video marathons are helping me relive. It’s just easier.

Hey, if nothing else, watching your relatives and creditors try to destroy each other as they try to loot your estate should prove interesting…

I just hope that somebody steps up, to look after your kids. They’re the “innocents” that I wanna see protected from the media hurricane that is about to engulf them.

It makes you think, doesn’t it?

“What if I was to drop dead tomorrow? Who’d take care of the kids?”

Man… what a tragedy…

Addendum: June 29th, 2009 – Michael Jackson is STILL dead. And he took that loud-mouthed Billy Mays with him!

A while back, Billy Mays ran his mouth about how “he was more famous than the King of Pop.”

Just goes to show you… You should never mess with “The Gloved One.”Or, he might give you the finger…

Well, Mikey, at least you did SOMETHING right…

Making GREEN with “Green.”

Okay…

So you probably know that my family is building a house out of shipping containers, and other assorted cast-offs, because a hurricane ate our old one.

And… as you probably know, the local Planning and Zoning Nazis are giving us hell, because “we jist ain’t right…”

You probably also know by now that “Old Ronin” can be a “Sumbitch” at times… so here’s what I plan to spring on ‘em at the next planning and zoning hearing…

First, we all know how important “green” is.

And, if you’ve been following along, for lo these many months, you’ve probably figured out that Ronin is a drinker. And, you gotta do something with all those bottles that you have to haul out to the curb every Tuesday and Friday.

Now, it’s not like I really need “the sauce,” it’s just that coming from California, and seeing how the State is almost bankrupt, I wanted to insure that the guys and gals in Napa Valley don’t go broke, and have to sell their wineries. So… after paying the alcohol tax on them (to keep Arnold from having a seizure! Pay Attention! Sheesh! Okay, I’ll type s-l-o-w-l-y so you can keep up!), and emptying them the good old fashioned way (a wine goblet in each hand)…:)

I decided that I’d use them to build walls in my house, the one that I’m building out of  ISBU shipping containers. It seems only fitting, as they probably got here in a container, in the first place. Plus, I was getting a hernia carrying them to the curb. And, boy, does it make my wife mad!

“Ronin, get those bottles outta the house! NOW!”

“Sorry hon… Can’t do it. Construction material, don’t ya know…”

Pretty cool, huh?

And free…. except for the “emptying them” part…

Only 1,472 more to go, and I’ll have a den! (And a liver the size of Montana…)

Actually, Ronin don’t drink “that” much… It don’t mix well with my med’s. I’m loopy enough, without “mixing poisons” and then running amok in the neighborhood!

Speaking of pills…

Between “Daddy’s Crazy Pills,” and Momma’s “Boy, is I sick” meds, we have a ton of those little tiny pill bottles scattered all over the house. Now as soon as we empty them, we rinse them out real good, because frankly, I don’t want my kid addicted to “Demerol Dust” any time soon.

But, I was watching my kid stack them up like building blocks, and then suddenly it hit me. Right in the head!

“OUCH! Dammit boy, no throwin your toys at the Daddy!! Yer gonna put an eye out!”

Actually, it got me to thinking, and we all know that can’t be good.

So, I collected up all them bottles, and started gluing them all together into long rods. And then, I put some little tiny Christmas LED lights in ‘em. And then, I put the long rods into groups, and glue ‘em to a piece of plywood.

Voila, instant “Squib Stalactites” (or is it “stalagmites?” I forget which!) that glow in the dark!! Now, hang a few from the ceiling, and you’ve got instant illumination!

Wha? It’s not like YOU don’t take medicine, too! You DO, right?;)

See? “Objects Da Art.”

Ooooooh! Purty!

And frankly, between all the med’s and the booze, old Ronin is staying in shape. Round.

ROUND IS TOO A SHAPE! SHUT UP!

So, I decided to try and lose some weight. And what better way to lose weight, than to blog off a few pounds. It’s really quite easy. You just disassemble your keyboard and rebuild it, reassembling all the keys into one long string, mounted on the wall in your office. Then, you just dash back and forth hitting the keys, like “a crazed lab rat on the meth,” until you either;

(a) lose the desired amount of weight; or

(b) collapse and wake up hooked up to tubes, in the ICU.

Either way, you lose a few pounds! Who need’s Jenny Craig?:)

And, while I’m talking about keys…

if you really wanna piss your wife off, you can do the same thing to your security keypad. You know the one you have to turn off in a certain number of seconds, or the rent-a-cops bust down the door and taze you until you pee all over yourself?

The key (I know…bad pun) is to reassemble the pad randomly. And don’t be afraid to leave out some of the keys. You can always use the “extra” parts on something else later on.

“Lemme see… what was that code again? Hey!!! Wha the hell? Roooooooooooonin!”

Incidentally, while I was testing the new “security features,” I got… you guessed it… tazed. After drinkin all that wine (I needed to, to empty the bottles for the room addition. Aren’t you paying attention? Gawwwwwwwd!) and then getting some 50,000 volts of “security sting,” the resulting stain wouldn’t come outta the carpet.

And it got me to thinking…

(I know what you’re thinking… Oh gawwwwd, here we go again!)

…about all the take-out food we order.

Why? Because if the heat in Mississippi don’t kill you, my wife’s cooking will. I’m not kidding! We’re not allowed to bring food to the potlucks at church anymore! After that last batch of “Banana Pudding”  they started praying for us like crazy… I mean, we thought that they loved it!  They were jumping all around and “speaking in tongues” and everything!

The paramedics said; “That wasn’t a religious experience, you idiots!  They were having convulsions!”

Oooooops?!?  That pudding took out half the congregation…

(Okay, so they was prayin that we’d move outta their district… But, a prayer is a prayer, right? Well? Isn’t it?)

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah…

After my wife saw “the stain…” she gave me until she got back from running her errands, to have it either fixed, or else.  She said something about “large caliber handguns, packing up my stuff, and something about shooting my sorry butt off…” but I’m really not sure because when she talks to me, all I usually hear is:

“Blah, blah, blah…”

But, just to be safe, here I sit, trying to fix the floor. And who doesn’t like wood floors? Hmmm?

The “traditional parquet look”

See? And all it took was some patience, enough chopsticks to feed most of Bejing, and about 35 tubes of Elmer’s Best…

Perhaps you’re in the mood for “Herringbone?”

Relax. It’ll grow on you… like a fungus!

See, now, when those guys at the Chinese Restaurant start giving you the “evil eye” for taking extra chopsticks, you’ll have a good reason!

Okay… Last choice. I’m going blind, here!

So, I’m takin a poll. Which pattern do you like best? And vote quick, because she’ll be back any minute!

Ah crap! She’s home and I ain’t done yet! Anybody got the number handy for “911″?

Okay… I’m lyin! Everything you see here was the work of an Artist named Jean Shin.

I just wanted to remind you how cool “Green” can be. To some people, all this stuff started “with garbage.” But, Jean is making a fortune, a statement, and saving the planet at the same time! And, so can we. But we’ll get paid in “comfort, security, and affordable housing!”

Stay tuned.

Remember… Green is Cool. Especially when you share it with a friend. If you like what you see here, and you want it to continue, I urge you to consider hitting that Paypal button up there, and donating a few bucks to the cause. We need a house, so my wife can get well, and my little boy can be safe. And frankly, we’re running out of options. We appreciate anything that you can contribute.

About Lightweights and Hot Air…

I knew Ace Hardware was cool but maaaaaan…

I mean… first they grabbed John Madden as a spokesperson. That’s cool. Anybody who can mix it up with behemoth linebackers, eat an entire turkey drumstick in one bite, bitchslap Brett Favre,  and do a television commercial … all at the same time…  is “A-Okay” in my book!

But now, they’ve moved up in the world! It used to be that you went to Ace to get nuts and bolts, a can of spray paint, or even a string of miniature LED Christmas bulbs.

Now I’m Jewish, so I used them to “illuminate” my backyard oasis. Hey, I recognize a bargain when I see one! It’ s genetic! …As if!

(Oh stop it! It’s not either. That’s just a stereotype, perpetrated by jealous people who “didn’t save any nuts for the winter…”)

Time’s have changed though! Now, you can soothe your “power bill blues” by asking the “helpful hardware man/girl… lackey/wench…  um… whatever.

(Man, this being P.C. all the time is for the birds…!)

Slow Speed Wind Turbines

Everybody is talking about “carbon footprints.”  Now, this may come as a shock to you, but I couldn’t give a damn about my carbon footprint.

Know why?

Because I already KNOW that I’m being careful, trying to squeeze every single dime outta my wallet, to support my family, and provide for their comfort and well-being. It’s not about become an “Al Goon… um…er… Gore Disciple.”  Nuh-uh!

I don’t have a mansion, a fleet of SUV’s, or a MegaYacht, or a big ozone killing Gulfstream. Hell, we don’t even had a car anymore. Medical bills ate it. And, they didn’t leave a single nut or a bolt lying on the ground, either.

It’s not about following those nuts in “Hollyweird,” like sheep led to slaughter, or getting on an “I’m the President, and I’m here to save you… from yourselves!” bandwagon either.

It’s about using the earth to sustain the earth and all the creatures on it. And that includes me and mine. It’s just common sense.

I know that most of us are concerned about “carbon.” But, most of the green energy products are simply to expense or even unreachable for all those urban dwellers that help make this a great country to go broke in. Either that cool new “green tech” is too expensive, or the local Homeowner’s Association has but the boots to it, or… the local Planning and Zoning Nazis don’t “understand it yet (probably because the manuals and tech sheets aren’t written in crayon).

But as “Green is keen” starts changing the way marketers look at the world (hey, just what we needed… right?)! Another thing that might possibly SAVE us, to exploit!) products are starting to resemble the average Joe’s perspective, and even needs.

Recently, a company out of Muskegon, Michigan called EarthTronics unveiled it’s newest product. Big deal, right? Well… maybe. They’ve developed a wind turbine that can actually be used by individual homes.

Wasn’t “Earthtronic” a disco/electric funk band in the eighties? Hmmm… I think I remember them opening for Devo.

Yeah, I went to see Devo. Hey the girl was cute, and she had all the right assets… No! Not that! Sheesh you guys are perv’s… She got to drive her Daddy’s GT350 Mustang…

We hot-rodded that poor beast all over Southern California. Until… we got a ticket for driving 125 miles per hour in a 55 mile an hour zone. Oy Vey, did WE get an earful… And I got the boot, for being a “bad influence! Me, of all people! It’s not like I deflowered her or anything… Okay… I admit it… I did TRY… in an awkward, geeky “I’m not fairing too good in this nerdy, ‘puberty conflict’ kinda way…” Sheesh, is there no justice?

Speaking of miles per hour…

What  did you think I was gonna talk about? Deflowering virgins? Hey, that flower had been plucked YEARS before I met her… I bet her Dad blamed THAT on me, too! I wish… 

Okay, where was I? I just got blinded by “High School Hormones…”

Oh yeah… MPH! Now… EarthTronics -  Windtronics Division claims that it’s new turbine can operate at speeds as low as 2 miles an hour. This means that homeowners will be able to buy a wind turbine at a hardware store that kicks the small wind industry’s worst enemy… “slow wind…” right in the teeth, um.. er.. blades.

Now we all know that creative technology needs a really snappy name, so the genius’s at the plant came up with this beauty…

They call it “the Honeywell Wind Turbine.”

Isn’t that just sheer genius? Doesn’t that paint a picture of mad dashes to your wallet, as you race for the Hummer in your driveway, to go get YOURS? Man, I could have thought of a better name for it in my sleep!

It will be distributed through Ace Hardware stores in the U.S. And… It will be sold for $4,500 smackerroo’s, so start breaking your kid’s piggy banks!

Tell ‘em that Santa told you to do it! Tell ‘em you’re donating the money to the “Save the Eggs” Easter Bunny fund! Hey, tell them that the money is for the “You kids destroyed Mommie’s figure and now she want new boobs, or she’s leaving” fund…

Um… er… scratch that last one. I tried it on MY kids, and all they did was trash the house. Never mind! Ever tried to scrub crayon off your best suit? Simple Green don’t cut it…

WindTronics developed the turbine and licensed the technology to buildings systems giant Honeywell.

Okay, so it’s a pig. What did you expect? A “Barbie Doll Nuclear Reactor that looks like Ken’s Corvette?” Nope. Barbie got that in the divorce, when she caught Ken fooling around with Skipper…

Ah, stop it! Shheeeesh… Tough room!

It wold appear that the real challenge is going to be designing an attractive case for the beast (because to most Homeowner’s Associations, it’s not “how it works,” it’s “how it looks”). And while they are doing that, the damn thing has to be “affordable.”

Look, new tech is great, but if I have to lease my kid’s out to a movie production company to film the sequel to “slumdog millionaires,” I don’t want it. The world isn’t ready for “Slumdawgies… Bubba’s eat Bacon!”

I’m concerned about the weight of the beast, and what you’re gonna have to go through, to get it up there in the wind, so it will actually work in “light wind.”

Why are the Windtronics guys trying to combine these properties?

Because most of the target consumers are living in urban and suburban settings where trees, buildings, and litigation from nosy neighbors with nothing better to do than stick their big fat noses into YOUR business (those miserable, life-sucking bastards!) could easily block “wind.”

Where did THAT come from? Man, I gotta start taking my meds regularly, again…

So, if those manufacturers can solve THOSE problems (and maybe tackle world peace, hunger, and homelessness too) the market could quite lucrative for the guys who shove these beasts into shipping crates… And, if they haul them around in shipping containers… well… you all know how I feel about shipping containers! Yippee!

Here’s what they say about the way the thing works:

The low-speed milestone is achieved by removing the gearbox from the center. The wind power turns the magnets located around the frame to generate power. This design is termed as “direct-drive” generator.  EarthTronics has got rid of the heavy and costly gearbox in the middle. The design reduces the number of components and allows the turbine to start generating power with low wind.

Blah, blah, blah… HOW MUCH POWER WILL IT MAKE?

This turbine resembles a fan and will produce 2,000 kilowatt-hours in a year for a home.

“We say if a turbine only works between 8 and 25 miles per hour, you have a very limited range of operation,” said Brian Levine, the vice president of business development at WindTronics, a division of EarthTronics. “Our device is rated to address a wider range at the low and high end.”

Why? “Because a sucker is born every minute, that’s why!”

Wait, that’s not it… It’s because if it works, they’ll sell them to “Ma and Pa Bubba” like hotcakes.

Back to the marketing blurb:

The wind turbine weighs 95-pound and it’s 6 feet in diameter. It can easily be installed on rooftops or attached to chimneys, or even put on a pole, up there next to the one that has your Mother-In_Law’s head on it.

Okay, only at MY house. It’s not like she was the most likable person on earth… Bill collectors actually came to her funeral… and nobody else. We know it’s true because they signed the guest book, with lot’s of  “Call us or elses…” Now, we know that, because we retrieved the book from the funeral home, after we got back from taking our “Ding dong the witch is dead” holiday!

The company hopes to sell the turbines through Ace Hardware stores.

They are not ruling out selling the turbine through contractors,  who will also be needed for the installation and support anyway. It’s not like contractors make enough money NOW… Oy!

(Seriously, this is the scenario that makes the MOST sense to me. I can’t see grandpa up on the roof, yelling at Nana to throw him a wrench, while wrestling with a bladed pod that looks like a mutant Ron Popiel Project…

“Introducing… It shreds, it chops, it makes your fingers disappear… It’s the Ronco ZapYoMama!”

Honeywell’s  target consumers will be both homeowners and small business, probably…

Will it be successful? Probably. I’m still wondering about things like “government regulation,” ease of install by DIY’ers, and finding $4500 in this economy to actually buy the damned thing in the first place. At almost 5 grand, it’ll take a few years to reach the “buy-back payout” for the box.

However, people are becoming aware of alternative forms of energy. Turn on your TV set, for crying out loud! Cable beats us to death with “the green stick” daily! It’s become the 21st century “shileighly.”  So, the market is there.  And, power costs are on the rise.

But remember that this is just a part of a power system for your home… What do you do when the wind stops blowing? Better score a few Photovoltaic panels, too! Hmmm?

Is there a big enough market to make the numbers work? We’ll see…  It’s gonna take more than a few green-minded buyers, to make this little project see black ink.

When you’re thinking about using wind from the sky, and not your husband’s big mouth…

(according to my wife, that harpy from the depths of Hades…)

… the most common observation is that people often chose locations that had insufficient wind or had obstructions that blocked the wind. In most cases, turbine makers rated products assuming a very good wind resource–anywhere from 12 to 25 miles per hour.

But what if you’re not in a wind zone, or your husband isn’t a blowhard? (See honey, I heard you… put the knife down… that’s it… now back away slowly…) 

WindTronics generates turbines that can produce electricity at 2 miles per hour! Whaaaaaa?

Not many people buy “roof-mounted wind turbines.” In fact, it’s less than 0.002 percent of the small wind market in the United States.  And a lot of those people have been disappointed by “light winds” and “way short power production.”

But Windtronics isn’t discouraged. They see the other side of the coin – a vast market that still remains untapped.

“It’ll start to operate much earlier and get to prime production at the level when other technologies are just starting,” Levine said.

And Uncle Sam is getting in the way… um…er… trying to help too! The federal stimulus bill, the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act passed earlier this year (which I’ve talked about frequently here on RR), has lifted a $4,000 cap for consumers and businesses investing in and owning small wind turbines.

Now they can get an uncapped 30 percent investment tax credit, allowing people to recoup 30 percent of the installation costs.

(Okay, so the country actually has to have enough money to pay the “rebates.” If what’s happening in California right now is any indication, I’m kinda worried. Arnold has issued IOU’s to thousands of people expecting big tax credits for green stuff. It seems “the cupboards are bare…” And my local Walmart won’t take IOU’s. Nuh-uh!)

So, we’ll see. If they’re looking for test sites, I’m available. We don’t get much steady wind here, but it would give me an excuse to go up on the roof and talk to something that would actually “listen…”

Stay tuned.

I’ve gotten a bad case of shingles…

From the “what will they think of next” file:

Yes, I’m building a house out of garbage. Yes, I’m really using shipping containers. In fact the only walls in the entire house are those shipping container skins.

Okay, there may be a few little tiny bearing walls, and possibly a partition wall or two, but you wouldn’t really wanna watch me in the bathroom after eating a case of Hormel’s finest chili, topped with artificial cheese and “double onions” now, would you? I didn’t think so…

It’s not like I’m crazy or anything… or am I?

Yes, I tore down an old aircraft hangar (2 actually) and I’m using the steel, the skin, and the bi-fold doors as part of my construction booty.

And yes, we’ll get almost all of our power, hot water, and heat, and all of our A/C as well, from good old Mother Earth.

Why? Because we can, that’s why!

But the roof is gonna have to be “store-bought.” And, as a result of that, I’ve been looking high and low, for a good, efficient solution that was “DIY” installed.

And then I came across “Solar shingles.”

I know it sounds like a skin condition you get after hanging out at the beach too long, but… according to Alternative Energy News, researchers at Pacific Northwest National Laboratory (PNNL) in Richland have developed flexible solar panels that could be installed on roofs like shingles.

This technology was originally used to protect flat panel televisions from dampness. They used to cover television screen with transparent, thin films that acted as barriers. These transparent thin film barriers are now becoming the basis for flexible solar panels that would be installed on roofs like shingles. These flexible rooftop solar panels are known as building-integrated photovoltaics, or BIPVs. They could replace today’s boxy solar panels. We all know that current solar panels are made with rigid glass or silicon and mounted on thick metal frames. If we compare present solar panels and flexible solar shingles we will find the later ones less expensive to install than current panels and made to last 25 years.

Okay, where can I buy them?

This technology was developed by PNNL in 1990s. They consider utilizing this technology in fifteen possible ways. One of it was solar power. But when Vitex Systems licensed the technology from Battelle, it refocused its goals. They saw potential and commercial success in developing ultra-barrier films for flat-panel displays, such as televisions. Now Vitex and PNNL, which is operated by Battelle for the Department of Energy, are reorienting the use of ultra-barrier films. The time might be right for them to exploit the current alternative energy scenario. Mark Gross, a PNNL senior scientist, explains “There’s a lot of wasted space on rooftops that could actually be used to generate power. Flexible solar panels could easily become integrated into the architecture of commercial buildings and homes. Solar panels have had limited success because they’ve been difficult and expensive to install.”

Why do they always have to use words like “exploit?” Yep, “green is good!” Everybody knows that solar is good, but TV is BETTER? I’d like to slap those marketing guys around like Mike Tyson’s speedbags… We could’a had these years ago… Wanna bet they’re gonna be mass produced in China?

The encapsulation process and the ultra-barrier film – called Barix™ Encapsulation and Barix™ Barrier Film, correspondingly – are already established and efficient moisture barriers.

Hey wait… this sounds familiar… Uh-oh… they’re using a proprietary process to manufacture these panels,a process that they’re licensing from another tech company. I read about those  guys. They develop a ground-breaking process, and then sell it’s right’s to the highest bidder, and they rake in millions of bucks, without getting their fingernails dirty. And somebody has to pay the piper…

Hmmm… So much for affordable product.

Now researchers are trying to proof a technology that could be successfully implemented to solar panels. The research work will be undertaken by Vitex and Battelle. It will be done under a cooperative research and development agreement recently signed by Vitex and Battelle. Battelle is the majority shareholder of Vitex, based in San Jose, California. Currently researchers are engaged in creating low-cost flexible barrier films and they are evaluating substrate materials for solar panels that can survive sunshine, rain and hail for decades. They will also work out the details of manufacturing process for large-scale production.

Wait, these are the same guys who only wanted  to use them for TV’s! I bet they’re just going to build “solar powered – outdoor TV’s…” Dammit…

PNNL’s research will be funded by DOE’s Energy Efficiency and Renewable Energy Technology Commercialization Fund. The estimated cost of the project will be $350,000 . A commercial match to the funding is required, and Vitex will provide up to $350,900 in labor, equipment and materials. If this project is completed successfully, this progression will decrease solar panel manufacturing costs to less than $1 per watt of power, which would be competitive with the 10 cents per kilowatt-hour that a utility would charge.

Oh… they want taxpayer money.. I see… “Grant Me a Grant… and pay me in Benjamin’s…” I get it… I bet Vitex will write off their $350k as “R&D.”

“Vitex is proud to continue its long, successful relationship with PNNL,” said Martin Rosenblum, Vitex’s vice president of operations and engineering. “Vitex is excited to further its Barix™ technology’s proven barrier performance for photovoltaics toward mass manufacturing. Together, we look forward to creating a product that will help alleviate America’s dependence on foreign oil and increase America’s access to an abundant renewable energy source – the sun.”

Translation: “If we can figure out how to get you to pay us to build it, we’ll not only build it, we’ll sell it to you… but not wholesale! After all, you gotta make power, to use our TV’s!” 

Don’t you just wish one of these “tech companies” would actually develop and deliver some of this geekware priced affordably enough so that the average joe could afford it? I suspect that it’ll be years before we see any of this stuff, and it’ll be priced so high that we can only see it on those “tweak” homes on Cable TV specials! Argh!

Oh well… back to the drawing board… Where’d I put my crayons?

Stay tuned.

I Wanna Be Responsible!

Okay, okay…

Since the beginning of civilization mankind has been using fossil fuels to “move mountains.” Hey, for centuries we thought that those fossil fuels were cheap. I mean hell, they were laying right there on the ground in some cases!

It’s true! Uh-huh! It is too! I know it’s true because I saw it on TV! That Jed Clampett was a genius! Who’da thought of using a scattergun to drill for “Texas Tea?”

But that was then, and this is now. Now that we’re more “civilized” and supposedly even smarter (I wonder whose yardstick they are using to measure THAT by, because I’m sure not seeing it…), we’re starting to see the real cost of using these fuels.

There’s no doubt that we’re destroying the environment. There’s no doubt that with all the newfangled technology that become so commonplace, we’re spoiled rotten, and even lazy.

Recently, I was in a store (okay, it was [gasp!] Walmart) during a thunderstorm, and the power went out. So what, right? Well, we couldn’t buy anything. The cashiers didn’t know how to tally up the sales any way but by punching register keys.

Where before, we walked to the store, or sent a letter, now we use our computers or a cell phone.  In most homes, we don’t wash dishes in a sink, we use a dishwasher. (Okay so in MY house, I’M the dishwasher.)  The point is, now we rely on technology instead of our backs. And, that’s a bad thing, I’m thinking. Our health has deteriorated as fast as our muscletone.

This is just the beginning of the bad news for the next generation. There’s more. Not only will they be rather unfit, and ignorant about how things work, the way things are going, there won’t be any power to run all of their gadgets. Mankind will come to a screeching halt. Why? Because everything runs on electricity, nowadays.

According to the newest forecast from the World Energy Council (WEC) global electricity requirements will double in the next 40 years. And at the same time, “the same guys” (OPEC) are gonna be in charge of the oil, so you can bet that prices for the dwindling resources of petroleum and natural gas are gonna go sky high.

I know that we’re trying to shift to other alternative sources of energy but frankly, the cost is still way too high for us “little people” to embrace. For example; we know that solar energy is a really great energy source. It’s clean, it’s green, and the sun isn’t going to go out any time soon. But the price of solar panels still resides heavily on a common man’s pocket. Our government has to stop talking about how much they’re doing to “help us,” and actually start doing it.

In my income bracket, giving me a tax credit isn’t enough. They need to step in and subsidize the cost of solar energy, especially in areas of residential usage.

They haven’t re-invented “the grid.” It’s still archaic, full of holes, and fraught with peril.  A windblown tree can knock the power out regionally, for days. One tree. And the resulting power outage from that single tree falling across power lines can kill people. I’ve seen it happen. And that’s not going to change any time soon.  I watched a commentary by two politicians the other night on CSpan, where they were debating where the funds would come from to rebuild the national power grid. They were throwing around numbers like $1 TRILLION dollars. A trillion dollars.

Subsidizing Solar Energy costs would cost far less, and give back some of the responsibility to the families that actually use electricity.  Making our own power would actually TEACH us to use it more responsibly. Imagine that… responsible consumers. If they really want to help fortify the infrastructure of America, they can start by taking off some of the load, by letting us carry it ourselves.

And, I can use one of them newfangled solar panel contraptions to help warm up my “cement pond!”

I bet you could even use one to power a still. I mean, I’ve heard about “solar stills” before. I wonder how many proof they get outta those rays for my ‘shine? Hmmm?

That’s what I think. I wanna be more responsible. Gimme the power! What do YOU think?

Stay tuned.

Yeah, I know… I’m more like Jethro Bodine, than Jed Clampett, but I can dream, huh?

Home Design and Responsibility

Here at RenaissanceRonin, we’ve talked a lot about how you design your home, using alternative materials. After all, it’s what we’re doing, as we build our home out of shipping containers (ISBU‘s), and recycled aircraft hangar components. We’re not doing this to be fashionable, or “particularly GREEN,” or even to make a name for ourselves. We just need a durable, sustainable home, that will provide for our needs, within our budget.

(Hey, if you’d been paying attention to the words in the posts, instead of all those pretty pictures, you’d know that! Right?)

Speaking of “pretty pictures.” No progress on the “My use of images makes WordPress puke” situation. I’m still working on a fix. The pictures will return, I promise. Hey, if for no other reason than they fill up the page, and I don’t have to write as much!

After all, it’s not just about saving money, it’s about creating a space to live in, that will provide for your needs.

And, that implies a lot of responsibility. Moral Responsibility.

No, I’m not talking about trying to make sure that you please the Baptists down the street! I’m talking about looking at every side of home design, while you busily fill those wishbook pages that will lead you to your design.

Again… I have nothing against Baptists. I’m just surrounded by them, and we like to “brother-lovingly” poke each other in the eye… Call it “theological differences…”  I don’t know WHY they keep telling me that “I’m going to HELL.”

Your responsibility for protecting and sheltering your family has to be weighed against more than fire, or a building horror like a collapse, or a catastrophic natural event. There is a huge body of research that defines the intimate relationship between homes and human behavior.  After all, you’re creating an environment that your tribe will live within, right?

But how do you do this? It’s hard enough trying to figure out which stick goes into what slot, without having somebody suggest that you have to go find a “house psychiatrist” to help you plan out your space. I mean, I’ve heard of “horse whisperers,” and “dog whisperers,” and even “gossip-mongers…” But, I’ve never heard of a “house whisperer.” Hey! That might make a cool reality show on cable, huh?

“Well sir, your home says that traipsing around the house in your tighty-whiteys with your “crack” hangin out like some overweight plumber, makes it’s windows shiver… So, just stop it, huh?”

Think about things like “sanitary surfaces, and safety.” Where you actually live has a lot to do with which materials you use. If you live in a place where there is a lot of humidity and mold, you probably don’t want porous surfaces all over the place that you’ll have to maintain. If you live in a hot environment, you probably don’t want cinder-block construction, or low ceiling heights that will trap the heat down into your “living zones.” Think about railings on staircases, and stair tread height/depth, and access to important rooms like the bathroom!

I was watching a cable show today about “beautiful houses.” And, although some of them were just fabulous, I was reminded that some of us tend to think of our homes as “beautiful objects” and not really places for human interaction and participation. It’s really not surprising that we see so many photographs in the media of beautiful spaces that don’t have people in them. The spaces that are created just don’t compliment humans.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want to live in a museum, or an aquarium. I want to live in a calm, soothing environment that takes care of me, with as little input as possible. After all, I have TV to watch and frosty cold beverages to consume!

(Preferably in a soundproof room that my wife doesn’t know about, okay? She can conjure up a “honey-do list” that would make Bob Vila or those “This Old House” guys commit suicide in about three seconds flat!)

Here’s the deal. Good home design begins with great discussions. Talk to your family about their wants and their goals for your new house. Think about ways to streamline the maintenance, using good design as a fulcrum. Think about ways to eliminate obstacles and hazards. You can still have a great looking home, that looks like people actually live in it! You just have to think it through!

You’ve got to figure out what works, and more importantly, what doesn’t. And that will add a whole page of questions to your design list. If you don’t heed them, there isn’t any way you’re going to improve your design.

And, those unanswered questions will be a failure to your family (and their comfort and safety), later.

Enough for now, I just heard my wife, and I haven’t finished cleaning up the huge mess that “the kid” made! How does he DO that? Oy Vey! 

If I only had a soundproof room… :p

Stay tuned!

Using ISBUs to build “Instant Homes…”

As many of you know, my family is fighting it’s way through the powers that be, trying to gain enough momentum to get a house erected that will keep us safe  and protected from the elements.

I suppose it would be easier to just give in to pressure, and build a house out of sticks, or even blocks. But, we’ve never been ones to follow everybody else around like “lost sheep,” and we’re not afraid to stick our necks out if we think it’s for the “greater good.”

You see, many people just can’t get “housing loans.” The economy and the housing shortage have made it almost impossible for many families in America to do anything but try to meet the rent each month, knowing that at the end of the year, they’ll have nothing to show for it but the satisfaction of knowing that they’ve paid their rental unit’s mortgage for the owners.

There has to be another road, and frankly, we’re looking for it.

Most of you know that I’m a big advocate of using Shipping Containers  (ISBU’s) as structure, just like a kid uses those plastic  building blocks. These steel boxes are incredibly durable, they’re plentiful, and given careful planning, they can be warm and cozy shelters in even the most severe weather conditions.

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the concept of “modular construction” lately. The easiest way to build anything, is to break it down into smaller parts, and build it out of sub-assemblies. So, just think of these boxes as components, and then think about how you can “pre-fabricate” them, before you use a crane (or other muscle) to set them into place on your foundation.

And that foundation doesn’t have to be real complicated, either. Containers can be set on pilings to get them up off the ground. Pouring those support pilings using cardboard tubes,  concrete and rebar can be pretty inexpensive, compared to massive grading efforts, and complicated footings.

(2) 40′ High Cube ISBU’s can be turned into two nice sized bedrooms with a shared bathroom, quite easily. Just lay them side by side, and take the center sections out. You’ve got decent room runs, and a nice 9′ ceiling height, with ease. The containers will get welded together along the center seam (top, sides, and bottom) and you’ll have some bearing walls in the middle, to help support the roof load, so don’t worry about the span, for now.

If you were to take (2) of these bedroom assemblies, and set them a little bit apart on 24″ pilings placed about 10′ on center…

And by spanning the “gap” between them with 16′ floor joists to connect the sides together, you’re essentially creating a house with a crawlspace underneath it. Guess how you’re gonna insulate the underside of that house? You’re gonna crawl under there and spray it with the same close-celled foam that most of the commercial industry has been using for years. At r7 per inch, it isn’t going to take much of it, to insure that your floor stays warm.

Plus, you’re gonna get a nice “stepped” entry deck both front and rear, to access the house and the back yard.

Think about ways you can build these “sub-assemblies,” and then place them together, using a roof to span the gap between them. Think about the angles that they can be “splayed” in, to create “great rooms” with a narrower, more cozy room at the rear.

Or, just take (2) of these sub-assemblies, and lay them parallel to each other, about 16 feet apart. Guess what? You’ve just built a 1,920 square foot four bedroom/ 2 bath  house, for pennies on the dollar. The gap between them can be filled in with conventional floor joists, and the ceiling, built out of SIP’s (Structural Insulated Panels) will give you enough warmth to get you through the coldest of winters.

And here’s the fun part. You can go from a basically vacant lot, to that almost 2,000 square foot house, in a week. (Wanna freak out the neighbors? Wait until they go on vacation to build. When they leave, it’ll be a vacant lot, and when they return… It’ll be a 2,000 square foot Corten Monument, complete with a landscaped front yard!)

Sure, you can  spend about 3 months getting the “pre-fabbed” parts assembled, but once you’ve got them the way you want them, that crane will make short work of them. And because your “pre-fabbed” assemblies are built out of units 8′ wide, they can be easily trucked to your site on a flatbed trailer. I’ve delivered my “doctored boxes” to the jobsite using a big Dodge pickup (a 1 ton diesel duelie) and a flatbed, several times.

So, you can do the “fitting out” part anywhere you like. No tractor trailer required, no muss, no fuss. And best of all, no massive, heart stopping shipping and delivery bills!

That center “bowling alley” you’ve “floorjoisted” into existence will house your living room, kitchen and dining room. Remember that 40′ can go a long way.  Most people would kill for a 20′ x 16′ Living/Family Room.  Put your kitchen in the center, and your dining room right behind it, and you end up with some pretty decent spaces, with all your plumbing in one “corridor” right through the middle of the house.

Or, here’s my favorite configuration; Move your kitchen all the way to the rear of the great room, in a big “L-Shape” with an island. Now, you have a Living Room/Dining Room combination that flows like the Nile, and a bright and airy kitchen to work in, too! Plus, you’re right there by the back doors, and that terrific deck looking out at the neighbor’s brats taunting your dog!

Another benefit to using shipping containers as components is that you’re already “weathered in.” No matter how wet or windy it gets outside, you’re inside, safe and warm as you build.

Granted, this is just a very brief overview of a small ISBU house project, but I can tell you from experience that you can build it yourself, using basic hand-tools, on weekends, and summer vacations. How do I know this? Because I’ve done it myself (with some help, of course), more than once.

The home that my family is presently planning to build follows this same “concept plan.” Now whether it gets built in Mississippi, or someplace else, it’s a house constructed out of pre-fabbed “ISBU wings,” connected by a small “aircraft hangar” to form a larger version of what I’ve just described. It’s similar to some of the container homes that you’ve seen on the Internet, with a few “Jew-Fu”  tricks thrown in, just to make the Planning and Zoning guys crazy…

And no… we’re not gonna leave much of the containers exposed to the elements. Our insulation is going on the OUTSIDE of the house, and then it will be covered by wood siding. We’re gonna leave a spot or two visible, so that people will be able to see it’s “origins,” but it’ll be tasteful, and more an “art statement” than an “in your face” jab.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll start laying it out for you, so you can see just how simple this construction process can be, if you use good design and good components.

Stay tuned.

FYI: For some reason beyond my understanding, I’m having trouble with WordPress.  It’s not letting me attach images to my posts, without crashing my computer. So, as soon as I figure out what ‘s wrong, and get the problem remedied I’ll attach drawings, photos and diagrams to this series of posts, so that you can actually “see” how it goes together to form a house.  I’ll post a “fixed” statement as soon as possible.

Make a new plan, Stan!

Okay, so it’s that time of year again!

I’m sitting at my desk, toiling and sweating over a new set of plans for our “Shipping Container House,” and my wife asks me what I want for “Fathers Day…” So, after about 35 seconds of thought (and a pretty cool “daydream” that I can’t repeat here because it’s “a family show,” albeit “dysfunctional” after all… )  I just rattled off the same old list that I’ve been recycling in my brain, seemingly forever… since I didn’t get them last year!

I want these things, in no particular order;

Now, most Dad’s would ask for “world peace” (like that’s EVER gonna happen) a healthy kid (if this kid doesn’t stop eating soon, Mississippi will collapse in on the empty cavity that he creates), a bright sunny day spent with my family (have you MET my family? I’d rather spend the day with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s family in a sandstorm), and a happy home (that doesn’t resemble a penitentiary or an insane asylum).

I can see it now;

“Special News Flash! Mississippi, experiencing a cavernous emptying that reminds us of the chaotic mass migration out of the Gulf Coast during Hurricane Katrina, fell in on itself today, only to be reclaimed by the Gulf Of Mexico. The roar of the tidal flow back into the swampland that is… um… was Mississippi was only rivaled by the ear-shattering belch that emanated from somewhere close to the hole’s epicenter, located near Biloxi.”

And I bet they’ll blame ME for that, too!

But… back to reality… I haven’t got a home. If you’ve been paying attention, you already know that, right?

You have been paying attention, right?

HELLO? Anybody there? Did I lose you already?

Okay, that’s it. No more pretty pictures for you to ogle over, until you start reading the words!

Here’s what I want for Father’s Day;

I want chores. Lot’s of chores. You know, stuff like “will you just wash the [expletive deleted] windows? We haven’t seen the driveway since December!”

I want a yard filled with crabgrass, weeds, and the neighbor’s dogs poop.

I wanna replace broken windows that the rotten kids down the street broke, because they think that being Jewish means I’m some kind of “cult member.”

FYI: Despite rumblings on the Internet, I am NOT a cult member. I’m just “charming and charismatic.”

I want a pool filter plugged to the top with debris, old socks, and girls bathing suits. (Don’t ask!)

I want to unplug toilets because my son has learned the phrases; “Bye-bye!” and “All Gone!” And… he’s learned how to use them in the same sentence!:)

I want to mourn my cell phone and my wristwatch, that my son has just “buried at sea,” with a tiny-voiced little chorus of “London bridge is going down, with daddy’s cell phone…” WHOOSH!

I want to toil away in 90 degree heat, risking heat stroke and death, to hang off a ladder unclogging gutters.

I want to “mow the minefield,” being careful to avoid the munitions and obstacles. You know, like my son’s “Hot Wheels,” the neighbor’s dogs contribution to my yard’s fertilization, and the Claymores that we so carefully placed, to slow down the Jehovah’s Witnesses and Amway/Mary Kay Salesmen that beat a path to your door…

And before you start, I have nothing against Jehovah’s Witnesses. Anybody who takes time out of their weekend to deliver newsletters and pamphlets about Jimi Hendrix is okay in my book…

That IS what “The Watchtower” is all about, right?

But Amway and Mary Kay salesmen… um…er… persons… Now, there oughta be a special place in hell for those nuts! Whenever they show up here, I ask them if they have any special “designer” creams for bedsores and hemorrhoids, that’s edible.

Why? Because we all know that “healing starts from within.” I learned that watching a recent Obama speech.

And… “I’d prefer Berry flavored, thank you very much…”

I want to work tirelessly on a weekend (or perhaps even several, if I survive it), to use power tools that no idiot should have ever placed within my reach, to build my son a treehouse, so that he can climb up there and scream “Death from ABOVE!!!” while he hurls empty snack containers and empty fruit juice cartons at us.

I’m thinking that you get the gist of this post. I want a HOME. A real live, built outta steel house that will keep us warm/cool and dry, and keep the nuts from getting in and messing up the furniture.

I want a place that my son can play in as he grows up in this country, that will allow him to be healthy and safe and provide for his needs. I want a place where my wife can recover from her illness and look forward to each new day, instead of feeling the stress I radiate while “I fight City Hall,” trying to get us to a safe place.

Hell, right about now, I’d settle for “40 acres and a mule.” At least it’d be a start in the right direction.

I gotta make a new plan.

Stay tuned.

So you want to build a house…

As you know, my family is building our own house out of shipping containers (ISBU’s), if the idiots in Jackson  will just get the hell out of the way.  But, you probably already know that, right?

It’s a long hard fight, because we’re not building a “traditional house out of straw, or sticks, or even bricks…”

And it seems that the “Big Bad Wolf” (aka: the local authorities and the knuckleheads at the State Capital) are trying to “huff and puff and blow our house down” faster than we can get it built up.

Will that finally stop us? No. We’ll just get a bigger can of “Wolf Repellent” and administer doses liberally, until we accomplish our goals. Now “Wolf repellent” comes in several different varieties, but so far, the one that seems to be the most effective is the “strutting all the facts out in public and then using them as a hammer” brand. Liberal sprinklings of “veiled threats to use the media and your voting record” seem to help as well, as supplements. So, the fight continues.

The sad thing is that the path we’ve chosen (albeit different from most) still puts a family in an affordable, durable house, that is sustainable and efficient. And for the life of me, I can’t get the powers that be, to recognize that fact.

It’s frustrating to the point of “tears and medication” at times, but if we’re going to help other families like ours get back into homes, we have to prove it can be done, in spite of what sometimes seems like overwhelming odds. So, we get up each morning, say our prayers, and look to the new day, to see what develops.

And, that brings me to the topic today.

Once you’ve determined that you’re going to build your own home, how do you actually do it?

Now, I’m not talking about putting “stick (A) into slot (B)” and then repeating that until you have a house. I’m talking about how you actually afford to have people in your employ, to assist you in building your dream home.

As the economy crumbles, and as more and more people end up on the unemployment line, I’m curious as to whether some of the assistance money programmed into the “stimulus package” can actually help you build that house.

Sure, most of the money is aimed at Big Business. But, some of it will manage to trickle down to us “little guys” at the bottom of the feed chain. And it might even do it in the form of Tax Incentives and Tax Credits, if we do it right.

This stream of thought started when I picked up a copy of the American Recovery and Investment Act of 2009. It expands tax credits for hiring new workers. You know, guys and gals from groups like the disabled, people on public assistance, and even (gasp!) veterans.

I know what you’re thinking. It’s a pretty narrow stream, huh? But despite what you’ve heard, Jews can swim… We can even walk on water… Well, some of us can.

Okay, okay… Here’s the gist of my rant today; Those tax credits are only for businesses, right? Well, what if, while acting as your own General Contractor, you actually established a business that employed your help? There’s a really thin line painted here, that looks like it might enable “the common man” to basically start a company that just supplied “independent contractor” labor to be supervised by licensed tradesmen, and in doing so, be entitled to this tax credit.

Now, you want your guys and gals to be independent contractors, for several reasons. First, independent contractors aren’t subject to payroll taxes. Second, you don’t have to include (or even establish for that matter) fringe benefit programs like health insurance or retirement plans.

Can you see where I’m going with this?

Here’s the guts of it;

The Work Opportunity Tax Credit (WOTC) will actually benefit “labor employers” that hire people from 9 targeted “groups,” with a tax credit equal to 40% of qualified first-year wages. This includes different amounts for qualified vets or teen summer hires. The only real hitch seems to be that they must work at least 120 hours for the wages to qualify.

I’m curious as to whether or not you can find a way to make this work for  you, as a homebuilder.  I’m going to investigate this further, and see if I can find a way to put some of those “Stimulus Dollars” in your pocket.

And I’m going to take a hard look at other ways to become eligible for those Stimulus dollars, as we build our Corten Castle. After all, if Wall Street and the car companies can benefit from federal handouts, I’m pretty sure that as a taxpayer, I should be entitled too. It’s my kids (and yours) who will be paying off this monumental debt.

Stay tuned.