My “Top Ten” list…

1 Jul

Or; “Ten things about me, that you wish you didn’t know…”

You know, in my travels on the web, I start thinking that some of the stuff I’m reading sounds awfully familiar. Just recently, I popped onto a blog, and saw a “top ten” list that was eerily close to things I’ve experienced myself.

So, using that format as a little “template,” I echoed it, with some of my own stuff, and some stuff  I shared with the original list compiler.

Now, I’m not gonna tell you which list items I “shared,” I’ll let you figure it out for yourself…

And evidently, there are some other people wandering this rock that are as psychotic as I am. Or so says “All those girls I left behind…”

Here’s the list;

(10)  When I was a kid, I wanted to grow up to be a rock star, and a writer, and an artist, and a ninja, or a pirate.  Oh yeah, or a terrorist.

(It’s really too bad my gene pool is devoid of anything resembling talent.)

(09)  I’m a drug addict. I live off adrenaline. I’ve skydived, bungee jumped, base jumped, scuba’d for depth, rock-climbed, and bike raced.

(I’ve also nearly killed myself doing every single one of those things.)

(08)  I’ve played “Peek-a-Boo” in Banana Republics. I’ve also survived hospital stays in third world hospitals. Barely. Apparently “Peek-a-Boo” is a tough sport.

(But people called me a “terrorist.” Score one for childhood dreams! Yeah! )

(07)  I’m a pretty fair photographer. I suppose it’s all in the angle of the lens.

(The cops said it was “invasion of privacy,” at my arraignment.)

(06)  I have an irrational fear of being bitten by a poisonous snake (a fear that I attribute to a “loving” older brother,  who used to sit on my chest and dangle big snakes in my face).

(They were usually non-poisonous, but still, a snake’s a snake, in my book…)

(05)   I still really want to be a pirate, like really, really, want to be a pirate. You should see me in a bandanna and an eye patch! Argh!

(04)  I’ve seen several people get shot in the face. Most of them lived. Some of them even got up, and just walked away.

(I’ve been shot in the face. I got up and walked away, rapidly. I don’t recommend it.)

(03)  I do not respond to people who call me by my real first name.

(It just means trouble, and somebody’s gonna get hurt.)

(02)  I ate a guinea pig once, and sometimes I still feel guilty. But when in Ecuador, or Peru, or Chile, or even Argentina, one must eat Cuy. It’s the law… LOL!

(Hell, I’ve eaten “wild dog,” shark eyes, rats, lizards, snakes, bugs, “sheep’s head,” and even (gasp!) escargot. Surprisingly, most of them taste just like you’d imagine.)

(01)  People underestimate me when they first meet me.

(Then I shoot them in the face.)

And since you hung in there this long, here’s a bonus track;

(00)  I have this dream where I’m transporting medical patients, in a Hummer. When we get where we’re going, I take the patients out, and throw them into a car crusher.

What do you think that means? Hmmm?


2 Responses to “My “Top Ten” list…”

  1. aniche July 1, 2008 at 3:39 am #

    it probably has something do with your childhood? i’m guessing u had an overfriendly uncle hanging around too much. 😀

  2. renaissanceronin July 1, 2008 at 5:14 am #


    You’re a sick pup. You gotta stop eating burritos and ice cream before you go to bed… Ewww!

    Man, I thought I was sick… sheesh! LOL!

Comments are closed.