It’s not easy being “Green…”

31 Jul

Green Things You Can Do Now!

I know… I’ve been bombarding your senses lately, with talk about building a house out of a box that is intended to haul Walmart’s latest purchases from China, to your local store. That’s right! In case you’re new here, I am the idiot building a home out of 40′ shipping containers, that everyone has been talking about…

But I’m not bragging…

But what’s even worse, is that I’m right! Walmart buys stuff from China. There, I said it. I bet old Sam is rolling over in his grave! And what’s worse, people here buy that Chinese stuff instead of buying American Goods… There must be a reason for that, but I’ll be darned if I know what it is…

(Actually, I really do know. But, that’s another post, all together…) LOL!

Now where was I? You know, you actually need a roadmap to write these things… One little distraction, and you’re standing in line getting  shots and a visa… Sheesh!

Oh yeah…

In keeping with my “Green Theme,” (well, actually I’m currently using a “black theme” to tell you about my “green theme…” LOL!) I thought that instead of making you wish you were me (admit it, you do…) I’d give you some much easier ways to be “green like me!”

And I’m not talking about looking for “green bars or drinking green beer” during St Patricks day!

Work progresses on our “Container House.” We’re fighting the good fight, and slaying the nay-sayers, left and right. But, it’s exhausting! My synapses (all three of them) are screaming for relief, so this post, we’re gonna talk about other “green issues…” like “Carbon Footprints.”

Lately, when people read about what we’re doing, the very first thing they exclaim usually is;

“Why such a big house? You’re not saving any energy! You’re a blasphemer! Yes you are!”

And then I’m forced to explain “Carbon Footprints” to them…

Now, I don’t know about you, but when I first heard those words, I pictured my kid crawling around in the remnants of last nights fire in the fireplace! (Well, if I actually HAD a fireplace…)

But, people who are paid to know will tell you that a “carbon footprint” is the  measurement of the amount of carbon dioxide emitted through the combustion of fossil fuels. A carbon footprint is often expressed as tons of carbon dioxide or tons of carbon emitted, usually on an annual basis.

In laymans terms, it’s just a calculation of the impact that someone’s activities will have on the environment, measured in units of the carbon dioxide that gets produced.

So, since we know that “too much carbon dioxide is bad,” reducing your carbon footprint is beneficial to the environment. I suppose that’s why there are so many calculators to measure and reduce these footprints. Ya think?

If you believe Al Gore, the whole world is in melt-down. Of course, this is the same guy who claims to have “invented the Internet,” so I’d be careful about what you believe. Where I agree with him is in this “land;”

What you put into the atmosphere has an effect on how you live. Period.

Be it smog, haze, stinky perfume (ever had an old lady pass you in the supermarket? Hmmm?), or sweat (that’s why they put showers in gyms, you dolt!), anything that’s out there, that isn’t supposed to be, is bad for you.

So, anything you can do to make things better, makes things better for your kids! Gasp! Now there’s a concept!

And in spite of all the arguing, and hollering, and Nobel Peace Prizes, it’s really not that hard to make an impact, as a “common Joe.” You don’t have to be a “Mega-Corporation,”or an Industrial Empire, to make things better. You just have to use your head…

Want proof? Try any of these examples out, and you’ll have made the world a better place. In fact, these are so simple, you should try them all. Capish?

(And, you’ll provide yourself with a good argument, the next time your “significant other” wants to know what you’ve been doing with your “miserable, lazy-butted life!”)

You can look them square in the eye, and say proudly;

“Why, I’ve been saving the world for our children, dear. What have YOU been doing? Your hair?” LOL!

Incidentally, most of these things will not only make the world a better place, they’ll also save you money. I like money. It pays for stuff like diapers, and “spit rags…”

Change your lightbulbs– if you switch to compact fluorescent bulbs you can save a few bucks…

Using just 3 “CFL” bulbs will save over 300 lbs of carbon dioxide; and that, my friends, is $80.00 per year, back in your wallet.

Adjust your thermostat! This is easy, painless, and will pay for that new fishing rod you’ve been craving!

Adjusting the temp down 2 degrees in the winter, and up 2 degrees in summer can make a big impact. You’ll not only save 2000 lbs of carbon dioxide; you’ll gain about $98 to $200 a year, depending on which energy czar you pay homage to every month!

Check your hot water heater; make sure it’s set no higher than 120 degrees

You’ll save 550 lbs of carbon dioxide and $30.

Take shorter showers, and avoid baths!

Wait, where did that come from? Okay, it should have read; Avoid full tub baths… Sheesh, you can’t get away with anything around here!

If you cut down on your water usage, you’ll save 350 lbs of carbon dioxide and save $99 a year. (Of course, like I said before, your mileage may vary.)

Install a low flow shower head;

I know what you’re thinking… first he says take a shorter shower, and now he wants me to use less water while doing it! Will this never stop? Oh the humanity!

If you do this, you’ll save 700 lbs carbon dioxide and most importantly, you’ll save $150 a year.

Buy home products locally.

Diesel doesn’t grow on trees, you know! This gets you big savings on transportation costs! And, it helps the local economy rather than sending profits away to mega-corporations, like “Walmart.”

When you buy new appliances, try to buy Energy Star qualified models.

And, the water company and power company even have programs to put money back in your pocket, when you do it! Free appliances are always better than ones you have to pay for, I always say!

Plant a tree…

Not only can you sit under it, and relax in the shade, trees suck up carbon dioxide. You could save 2,000 lbs of carbon dioxide.

Insulate your hot water heater!

Not only will it make the closet cooler, you’ll save approx $40 a year.

Unplug unused electronics!

Did you know that your plugged in cell phone recharger still draws power, even when you aren’t using it?

Unplugging all those power transformers and rechargers can save you up to 1000 lbs of Carbon Dioxide, and you’ll save $250 a year on your power bill!

Okay, I know all this reading is wearing you out, so I’ll stop here.

But if you think about it, I just saved you about a million dollars a year, and reduced the amount of carbon dioxide you spew out, by tons! And, it was relatively painless.

It would only be more “painless,” if you could get your relatives to do it for you!

But, you better get busy and put your “Green Plan” into action, or I’m gonna email a list of 50 things you can do, to you know who… I can do it, you know… I just trap your IP address like this… and a keystroke here and there… and… voila! I have you now! And not even “The Force” can save you! Heh-heh! LOL!

That’ll learn ya! You’ll never watch wrestling or Nascar again. You’ll be too busy running around, making changes in your new “green lifestyle!” After all, Momma needs new shoes!

And with all that new-found wealth, remember your friends… I know this guy who’s building a house outta garbage, who accepts donations! He’ll even take cash! LOL!

Stay tuned… because next time, we start talking about the house, again… I promise…

And remember, I’ve got my eye on you… The good one…!

(Thanks to Maggie M., who sent me the “Green” Master List to end all lists!)

5 Responses to “It’s not easy being “Green…””

  1. Ashish August 1, 2008 at 11:38 pm #

    Alright lets see…

    Change your lightbulbs
    Already done. Reduces electricity costs by a huge margin… especially for a business like ours. 😀

    Adjust your thermostat!
    What’s a thermostat? 😛

    Check your hot water heater
    Checked… its still there. Nobody stole it, thank god. 😛

    Take shorter showers, and avoid baths!
    Bah! Oh you mean the full tub. Then its ok. Bath everyday kids… coz its good to be clean. 😛

    Buy home products locally.
    Um… why buy home products if you get them at “home”?

    When you buy new appliances, try to buy Energy Star qualified models.
    It’s started here in India now with all electrical appliances having a star rating and all. Better late than never I say!

    Plant a tree…
    You mean plant a plant of course right? 😛

    Unplug unused electronics!
    Forget saving electricity, I do that because I’m scared that I’ll be shocked or something. 😀

    But, you better get busy and put your “Green Plan” into action, or I’m gonna email a list of 50 things you can do, to you know who… I can do it, you know… I just trap your IP address like this… and a keystroke here and there… and… voila! I have you now! And not even “The Force” can save you! Heh-heh! LOL!
    Um… I know you use Cableone internet service…

    You’ll never watch wrestling or Nascar again.
    You mean watching Natalya Neidhart wrestle Michelle McCool doesn’t save the world? I’m suing Vince McMahon for fooling me!

  2. wildkitty August 2, 2008 at 8:49 pm #

    I’ve been backreading here. This is some fascinating stuff.

  3. India Travel August 4, 2008 at 1:50 am #

    Quite useful information

  4. Sarah August 4, 2008 at 1:20 pm #

    well then. Ill get right on that.

    p.s. hi jew.

    pps- buy a yaris, thats green(ish)

  5. renaissanceronin August 4, 2008 at 1:59 pm #

    Ashish: You don’t have much to worry about, since you don’t have electricity about 20 hours of the day! LOL!
    But good luck with your lawsuit against the WWF… I hear ole Vince is loaded. Maybe the Undertaker will pay you a visit!
    Sarah: Shalom to you, too… I think… I thought about a Yaris, but they’re not bulletproof yet. So, I’ll keep saving up for my solar-powered HumVee… And get busy, missy… I’ve got my eye on you…

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