Welcome to “ALTERNATIVE HOUSING for Dummies!”

6 Dec

I know… I can already hear you asking yourself:

Why exactly is it for “dummies?”

Because, my friends, I’m the one writing it. And if you consider that my “brain trust” has been overdrawn since about 1972 (just ask my wife, or any of my neighbors), well… “Dummies” is about as good as it can get, without medication.” LOL!

Okay, okay… So, get your ticket stubs ready for inspection, or get the hell outta here!

I’m currently conducting a tour of the alternative home my family is building in Southern Mississippi. I’m doing this in two-part harmony, and one part hysterics. I’m doing this because I want all of you to be just as scarred as all of us…

tickets

No wait… That’s not it…

I’m doing this to prove once and for all, that even in these trying time, you too can build a really cool house out of “garbage.” And, it’ll be a house where you’ll be warm and safe, and even save some money along the way.

You can build a house where the neighbors will laugh at you and call your kids names, until they figure out that you’re living way better than they are, for about half the costs. Then their kids will still call your kids names, but, you’ll have money for lawyers, after your kids beat the snot out of them. After all, it’s the “American Way,“ huh? LOL!

Now, Ronin doesn’t actually advocate “violence,” unless you’re a terrorist, a pedophile, or a child pornographer. But let’s face it, kids can be cruel, and sometimes Karma carries a clenched fist…

Someone I admire once said that “Remember nothing is easy especially building a home.  If it were easy everyone would do it.“ But, with some careful planning, and using some well-informed decisions, you can do this, no matter how many times they change the “rules” trying to exclude you and your crazy notion about building a house that you can actually afford, without having to float a mortgage big enough to sink the Titanic in.

And when bad weather comes racing in, you can laugh last because your family will be living in a concrete and steel envelope ready to confront whatever Mother Nature throws at you. And while she rants and razes the neighborhood, you’ll be sitting back, comfortable, with a cold beverage in one hand and a nice dinner in front of you.

And, it won’t be MRE’s either!

rations-mre

And your neighbors will be pounding on your front door trying to get in, out of the rain…

Who’s laughing now, you [expletive deleted]? Hmmm?

If you’ve been following along (if you haven’t it’s obviously “your fault!”)…

Previous posts will show you where we’ve been to get to this point, and you can find them right over there, on your right, under “Stuff I ‘Jes Writ:”

We’ll sit right here, and wait for you to catch up, okay?

(Sure we will… Can you say; “Martha, all I heard was tires screeching, and all I saw was taillights!”)

Next time, the rest of us will be traveling up the yellow brick road… um… er… missile shaped staircase tower, to take a look at what you can build with junk nobody wants.

You’ll be amazed and surprised. Okay, not as surprised when your Mother-In-Law is pounding on your front door, demanding entry, but…

You’re gonna get a good look at “Green, Lean, and Clean” design, and a place where you’ll be happy to hang your hat.

And, you’ll save a bunch of hard earned cash, while you do it…

Stay tuned!

The Renaissance Ronin PS. I just received a certified letter from the “grant lackeys” informing me that “Residential Square Footage” requirements, have been reconsidered yet again, in closed “session.” The “number du jour” is now 3,200 sq. ft, if one of the residents is “certifiably handicapped.”   And… we qualify. Yippee!
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One Response to “Welcome to “ALTERNATIVE HOUSING for Dummies!””

  1. Anonymous March 3, 2010 at 6:26 pm #

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