“Noah Nowadays”… :)

3 Apr

NOAH TODAY

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In the year 2012, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in America and said:

“Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans.”

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:

“You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.”

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Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard – but no Ark.

“Noah!,” He roared, “I’m about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?”

“Forgive me, Lord,” begged Noah, “but things have changed.”

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“I needed a Building Permit.”

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“I’ve been arguing with the Boat Inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.”

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“My neighbors claim that I’ve violated the neighborhood by-laws by building the Ark in my back yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the local Planning Committee for a decision.”

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“Then the local Council and the Electricity Company demanded a barn-load of money for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark’s move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear none of it.”

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“Getting the wood was another problem. There’s a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls – but no go!”

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“When I started gathering the animals the ASPCA took me to court. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They
argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.”

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“Then the Environmental Agency ruled that I couldn’t build the Ark until they’d conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.”

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“I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I’m supposed to hire for my building crew.”

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“The Immigration Dept. is checking the visa status of most of the people who want to work.”

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“The trade unions say I can’t use my sons. They  insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.”

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“To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I’m trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.”

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“So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.”

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“Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.”

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Noah looked up in wonder and asked;

“You mean you’re not going to destroy the world?”

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“No,” said the Lord.

” The Government beat me to it.”

Thanks, MAC… for sharing this with us! 🙂

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