Winter Weather Warning – Hurricane Joshua is coming through!

25 Dec


This is so informal that we’ll just start over.

My apologies for the duplicate post. For some reason, my system glitched and then embedded a URL in the title of the post, thus turning the entire thing into one big heap of holiday mess!

So, where was I? Oh yeah… Exhausted.

Get this.

It’s 3am. The tree is finally stuffed with “goodies” for the little terrorist that lives with us.

Christmas 2012 - Santa gets a hernia - sm

I know, I know… we just celebrated Hanukkah… but we’ve decided that the lil beast that prowls the halls late at night as we sleep… needs to be bribed so that we don’t wake up dead in the morning.

Okay, truth be told, we’ve decided that if nobody else will fix the *^$%#@!! economy, we’ll do it ourselves – by injected cold (it’s 24 degrees here) hard earned cash into the local’s coffers… 🙂

We wrapped the house in enough LEDs to make the PV Panels puke. I actually cringe when I see it. Josh (our 5 year old son)  on the other hand, laughs with glee knowing that “a lit house… is one that Santa won’t miss…”

We blackmail the kid into bed early with “horror stories of houses missed by Santa”  because the kid wouldn’t go to sleep… Poor, gullible  Josh buys right in and literally fights with us to go to bed early… as in he INSISTS that it’s his bed-time.

Sadly… THAT will never happen again… 😉

We finished wrapping presents about 0230. I mean, we were sneaking around like Ninjas, pulling toys and other goodies out of secret cupboards as he slept, fearful that the little monster would bust us. Finally, we wrap the last present and then shove it under the tree… swear at each other (“You forgot the stuff in the garage! What? Hey, it’s freezing cold out there. I’m not gonna get my stuff frostbit so that the kid can have a few more toys. There’s no more room under the tree anyway. We’ll give them to him for New Years!)  and then… we  head for bed…

… to get WARM. It’s freezing cold here in Montana.

At 0245… I kid you not… the kid rambles in, yells and screaming about getting up early to “catch Santa”… It’s like his “Toy Radar” went off… The kid can SMELL wrapping paper and bows… There’s a “big nose” joke there somewhere… it comes from his MOTHER’s side of the family… LOL!

SO, realizing that if we don’t think fast, we’re gonna be up all night and he’ll eat our exhausted souls for lunch…. we parked him in front of the tree for the obligatory “look at all my loot” photo, bribed him with ONE present and sent him back to bed… until… the crack of dawn.

Christmas 2012 - Joshua gets the goods -sm

Now dawn cracks early (and quite loudly) around here, as it’s covered with a thick sheet of ice. So, we all stumble, mumble and snort our way into the living room (to cower in the corners) while the demon that is our child laughs menacingly (okay, it was probably glee, but  I swear, hearing it raised the hairs on the back of my neck) and then wreaks havoc on the poor defenseless tree…

Christmas 2012 - Sizing up the loot - sm

Now… the real fun begins. We get to look (thru bloodshot and caffeine deprived eyes) as our kid carefully weighs each package… first picking it up and examining it carefully, to decide which package gets opened first.

Christmas 2012 - Hurricane Joshua - smBy the time he’s through tearing though packages like a tornado in a Mississippi trailer park… WE come to the grim realization that Christmas is actually a time of paper cuts, sleep deprivation, and energy shortages (as in “I thought that it was YOUR job to buy the *$%^#@!! batteries…”).

So, as our wonderful lad laughs hysterically as he makes action figures assume poses that would delight any Chiropractor in the land…

And as his parents stumble to and fro, picking up wrapping paper, ribbons, bows and other flotsam and jetsam…

We wish you a VERY Merry Christmas. May you and yours get exactly what you deserve… times three! Be good to each other. It’s getting bumpy out there. (We actually witnessed fistfights in store parking lots yesterday. People are just NUTS, I tell you!)

With MUCH affection,

The Kleins.


4 Responses to “Winter Weather Warning – Hurricane Joshua is coming through!”

  1. Dave Yates December 25, 2012 at 1:52 pm #

    Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Kwanza… etc… etc…

    Great pics Alex… I hope you have a blessed day with you and yours…

    • Renaissance Ronin December 26, 2012 at 10:06 am #

      You too, bro. You too… Thanks for sharing that poem. I read it every year, with the same results. Tears. 🙂

  2. Timmie R. December 26, 2012 at 9:21 am #

    Looks like Josh had a blast! It was the same scene here x 3! I’m so glad it only comes once a year!

    • Renaissance Ronin December 26, 2012 at 10:05 am #

      Yeah, what YOU said.

      I’m still exhausted!

      But, he did have a great time and he’s already talking about how good he’ll be so that Santa will visit again next year. LOL!

Comments are closed.