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You’re killing America!

25 Nov

Obama keeps talking about “fixing what ails America,” by building alternative power projects.

To seemingly prove it…

On April 11, 2009 DOE announced a whopping $38.5 Billion dollars in loan guarantees to “encourages the development of new energy technologies and is an important step in paving the way for clean energy projects.” All a start-up company has to do is fill out reams of paperwork and submit it along with their justification of why they need the money and their $75,000 non-refundable application fee.


Let me repeat that last part: “… and their $75,000 non-refundable application fee.”

These projects include solar, wind, hydro, ethanol, and even algae fueled remedies. And, there are a lot of them out there. Some of them even make sense, but…

At the NSF (National Science Foundation) bio-energy research projects are being declined and disqualified right and left,  by Government-backed reviewers who throw crap on the progress, by using “verbal vinegar”  like this:

“To base the proposal on the theory that there will be a variety of low-value feed stocks available is, in the opinion of this reviewer and many other industry observers, a faulty premise. Biomass is cheap right now because no one wants it.

However, as demand increases, it will become more expensive. Further the laws of supply and demand mean that replacing a significant amount of gasoline with biofuels would drastically lower the demand for gas. This would, in turn, cause the price of gas to plunge, making biofuels less competitive.”

Bull! I could use that very same argument to reject the use of margarine, or ammunition, or even car tires. The same argument could be made to reject solar and wind energy research — or any alternative energy, for that matter — by trying to make the case that an overwhelming  public adoption of solar power or wind energy products would cause the price of coal to plunge… well… because that might make solar and wind energy less competitive!

Would too! I know it’s true, because I’ve even heard politicians say it!

And we all know that politicians NEVER lie. 😉

“Margarine is baaaad! We Must Stop This!”… before it makes COWS obsolete.

And heaven knows, the increase in American Horse Breeding may adversely impact the price of cars! It must be stopped! I don’t know about you, but I’m gonna start shooting horses, before civilization as we know it comes to an end…


Oh wait, the American Government already does that. It’s cheaper to manage “wild horse assets roaming the plains” in America, if you kill them first…

You think I’m kidding? I’m not. Say goodbye to the Majestic Wild Mustang, kids… They only place you’re gonna see them regularly is on Disney Cartoons. BLM actually kills wild horses, rather than provide for them. Don’t even get me started…

So why do reviewers say things like I just quoted?

Because they are paid to DISQUALIFY projects. First, that $75,000 dollar application fee is non-refundable, remember? Second, that way, those jug-headed politicians in Washington DC can claim that they’ve put help in the pipe, even if NOBODY can possibly qualify for it.

Oh, I almost forgot; It takes 15 months to find out that you’ve been cheated out of your $75 grand…

… if the half-wits in the “processing department” at the DOE can get the process streamlined down to 15 months, as “promised”.


Here’s what independent reviewers with credentials in their field, said about that bio-energy project request;

Reviewer #A: “This is a well thought out proposal supported by a well qualified team.”

Reviewer#B: “This is a well written proposal with good technical foundation to carry out the project. Project team collectively has good qualification and sound experience to advance the scientific work in a professional manner.”

Reviewer #C: “The proposed plan is sound and improved results are likely with further research.”


Stop buying margarine! Stop riding horses!  Stop building windmills! Stop shooting your firearms! Stop buying car tires! You’re killing America! You whiny un-patriotic, self-serving, greedy, capitalistic bastards! 🙂

Stay Tuned.

The Renaissance RoninOkay, you all know what’s going on with my family, so I’m not going  to beat you up with that…

If this blog has helped you, educated you, amused you, or even just made you shake your head and wonder why I’m not locked up in some room clad with rubber tiles…

Please know that this site has required a great deal of money, time and effort to develop & maintain. If it’s been useful to you at all, and you can afford to…  you can help my family and support this site by making a small donation by hitting that Paypal button up there on the right. Paypal is the BEST “secure” way to donate to any cause… like ours. This will help keep us alive while we try to remedy our own situation, and empower me to carry on writing, maintaining, providing countless hours of hard work, and including any updates or topics that you might suggest.

And… No anatomical impossibilities, huh? I’m not as young as I used to be…

Oops, they did it again… Or DID they?

22 Oct

“If America is healing… and everything is getting fixed…”

Then how come everything is still broken?

I mean, if I was a Nobel Prize Winning President (and in only 14 days, no less!), you’d think I’d have actually delivered on at least ONE promise.

Pick one. Your choice. ANY one…

Well? I’m still waiting…

After spending trillions of dollars that we didn’t even have…

Taxpaying Americans are still losing their jobs in record numbers.

So, we propped up the banks… Guess what? The money is G-O-N-E!

Those same taxpayers are still losing their homes in record number, too…

Before long, there will be a shortage of packing materials…


Because we’ll all be living in cardboard boxes, or maybe even…

living-in-a-box… a “Versace-esque box” made outta Italian pressboard and veneer!

Talk about “high density!” Oy Freakin Vey!

And the majority of the banks aren’t releasing those foreclosed homes to “the sales stream…” either. They’re holding them “in inventory,” so that when the market rebounds, they’ll make billions in profit.

Thanks for saving our bacon… now bend over…

And winter is coming.

So, we’ll just help everyone  get more debt, by “helping” them into new car loans…Everybody loves a new car!

Nobody in America would say “NO!” to a new car, unless they were just plain stupid, or absolutely crazy. Right?

And, if you’re “crazy,” you probably shouldn’t be driving!

And buying new cars means building new cars.  It provides jobs. A lot of jobs… It does! 🙂

But as cool as that was… we just picked our own pockets again! “Cash for Clunkers” is a program underwritten by our  TAXES! Oy!

Like I said… we made sure that the banks had tons of cash. Literally TONS of cash.


Pallets of Benjamins stretching as far as the eye could see… But, are the banks writing loans? No. Why? Well, it seems that everyone in America is a bad risk. But, those bank officers get paid pretty well, I guarantee…

To make matters even worse, confidence among U.S. home builders slipped again in October, largely on the looming expiration of a big tax credit.

The National Association of Home Builders’ gauge of confidence in new-home sales fell for the first time in four months, slipping to 18 from 19 in September.

Wall Street expected the confidence gauge to rise to 20.

What’s that translate into? Even MORE construction job losses, that’s what it means!

Oh great… That’s just what we needed.

Hey, the upside is that jolly fat man with the big bag of presents is gonna have a lighter load this year. Hell, he might even be able to stuff it in the overhead bin, as a carry-on…  Oy.

Ho! Ho! Ho! Talk about a lot of coal in stockings! But, wait! Another bright side! Coal burns, and that means that… it’ll provide heat! 🙂

Okay, okay, I’ll stop… Maybe.

We all know that the sale of new homes has been driven by the $8,000 tax credit for first-time home buyers! They said that it was supposed to “stimulate” the economy.

Yeah, right. More like, to coax young “new” home-owners into joining the ranks for the “in-debted public” before the walls come crashing down…

Well, you better hurry up. Come and get your debt before you lose your chance to get that tax credit!

Come and get it… while it’s hot-t-t…

Hey, it worked for a while, home sales rose by 30% through August. But… all good things must come to an end. November, to be precise. That’s when the credit expires.

If you listen closely, the next time you go outside, you’ll hear it… That’s not the wind howling around your ears… It’s the home-builder groups wailing for an extension of the credit.

“It comes as no surprise that after trending upward from an historic low in January, the HMI’s [the group’s main index] positive momentum now appears to have stalled,” said Joe Robson, the NAHB’s chairman.

You see, the bottom is falling out. All three components in the Housing index slipped — and that’s the first time that’s happened since November 2008 when the recession was nearing its worst. The component that measures current sales conditions fell in October to 17 from 18 during September. The gauge of traffic of prospective buyers slipped to 14 from 17. The component measuring sales expectations over the next six months tumbled to 27 from 29.

“Congressional action to expand the tax credit and extend it for one year would provide a critically needed boost to the employment market and economy, generating nearly 350,000 jobs, $28.2 billion in wages, salaries and business income and $11.6 billion in additional tax revenues,” Mr. Robson said. “That’s an opportunity we can’t afford to pass up at this difficult time.”

Alas, it’s gonna probably fall on deaf ears, as Congress will be too busy… one again trying to quietly pass their annual pay raises. They figure that they’ve all earned it, after all the camera time they’ve been getting about Health Care Reform.

And, after all, it’s hard to make due, on their pitiful six-figure salaries…

In the meantime, the ending of the tax credit will scare away any buyers foolish enough to enter the market…

… and the trickle down will be felt all the way to Home Depot! After all, it’s the home builders who drive the lumber yard production, right?

The best part of this is that the Fed is talking about inflating the dollar, due to so many other countries treating it like toilet paper.

Simple economics: 101:

When you lower the interest rate, you have to inflate the value of the dollar, to bring it back up.

So lumber prices will go up! That’s gonna help get houses built, and sold! Yep! Good thinking! Now we can’t afford the materials, and the house price will skyrocket!

Boy, my local Realtor is gonna be one a sad lady… 😦

And the way things are going, taxes will rise and inflation will jump way, way  up. If you have a mortgage rate in the 5’s, you’ll be doing the happy dance in the street.

But don’t do it around here, or I’ll turn the hose on you, just out of spite… 🙂

This is starting to remind me of the “Jimmy Carter Era…”

But wait! It’s another chance to start a new program! And, Obama can appoint another Czar! Hop Dingitty Dawgie!

We’ve propped up Wall Street. We’ve bailed out the banks.  We’ve even gone into the “national car business…” Now…

We can have a “Cash for Stinkers! Home Rebirth and Subsidy Sale!”

All we have to do is bail out every home builder!

Yep, if you can swing a hammer, you can get a check!

But wait… there’s more!

We offer Ma and Pa Public and every other owner of an existing “older” home a bundle of Benjamins ($10,000) in cash to demolish that energy guzzling monster and replace it with a more energy miserly new home. And wait, if you act now…

We could give them a mortgage with zero percent down and zero percent interest…

… until they reach 65 years of age.

Why only 65, you ask? Well, because after they turn 65… we don’t care about them any longer! After all, if we DID, wouldn’t we have taken better case of Social Security and Medicare?  And, wouldn’t we have provided adequate cost of living raises?

Mr. Obama… What cost of living raise? …

What’s the end result? Um… Trillions more dollars of debt for our children to pay, a bunch of jobs, and a fuel efficient America…

… except for the emissions from those “gas-bags” in Washington…

But, it won’t happen. Why not? Well, Virginia…

The US Government does NOT want a larger supply of homes. The banks (that we propped up in the first place) already have a huge inventory to sell. What the government actually wants… is  higher housing prices to justify much larger mortgages!

Why? Um… well it’s because the government wants people to borrow huge amounts of money, so that banks create more money through lending! That is how they inflate the money supply.

I already explained that… right? Weren’t you paying attention? ARGH! I’m NOT writing these for my own health, you know! 🙂

Look here, if you don’t believe me…

camperbikeride2Well, there’s always my bike…

And they wonder why I’m trying to build a house out of recycled stuff and anything else I can find, without taking out a loan (that I probably couldn’t get anyway!!)…

Stay tuned.

The Renaissance RoninWait a minute… lots of unemployed construction workers. Lots of empty and  discarded ISBUs. Lot’s of vacant manufacturing buildings due to plant closures. Lots of material because nobody is building… Hmmm.. Maybe there is a way… Hey… a fella could build “Corten Cargo Container Condomimiums!”

Cheap, strong, durable, energy efficient and almost recession proof housing!

Now then, if someone was just smart enough to possess enough vision to actually  see the “merit” in it… 🙂

Thank You.

23 May

memorial_day_rrMemorial Day, which was originally called “Decoration Day,” is a day of remembrance for those who have died in our nation’s service.

But where did it come from?

Although dozens of cities claim to be the birthplace of Memorial Day, my favorite attribution is the evidence that organized women’s groups in the South were decorating graves before the end of the Civil War: a hymn published in 1867, “Kneel Where Our Loves are Sleeping” by Nella L. Sweet carried the dedication;

“To The Ladies of the South who are Decorating the Graves of the Confederate Dead”

(Source: Duke University’s Historic American Sheet Music, 1850-1920)

Memorial Day was officially proclaimed on May 5th, 1868 by General John Logan, national commander of the Grand Army of the Republic, in General Order No. 11. It was first observed on May 30th, 1868, when flowers were placed on the graves of Union and Confederate soldiers at Arlington National Cemetery.

In 1915, inspired by the poem “In Flanders Fields,” Moina Michael replied with her own poem:

We cherish too, the Poppy red
That grows on fields where valor led,
It seems to signal to the skies
That blood of heroes never dies.

But it saddens me that when you ask people what they’re going to do on Memorial Day lately, it seems like it’s just turned into another opportunity for “Beer and BBQ,” or an automobile “Blow-out” at the local car lot.

The traditional observance of Memorial day has decayed over the years. Many Americans nowadays have forgotten the meaning and even the traditions of Memorial Day. At many cemeteries, the graves of the fallen are increasingly ignored, and even neglected.

Thankfully, where I live (in this part of the South), this is not the case. At the Biloxi National Cemetery, it reminds me of growing up in Orange County, CA (a farming community when I was young), it almost looks like hundreds of fieldworkers picking produce, as legions of citizens place flags and flowers on the graves that cover the vast repository of our fallen. But this attending to graves, albeit touching, isn’t quite accurate either.

You see, most people don’t remember the proper flag etiquette for the day. While there are towns and cities that still hold Memorial Day parades, many have not held a parade in decades. And, some people think the day is for honoring any and all dead, and not just those fallen in service to our country.

Memorial Day is specifically placed, a day to honor those paid the ultimate price and gave all, in the service of our country.

But what may be needed to return the solemn, and even sacred, spirit back to Memorial Day is for a return to its traditional day of observance. Many feel that when Congress made the day into a three-day weekend in with the National Holiday Act of 1971, it made it all the easier for people to be distracted from the spirit and meaning of the day. As the VFW stated in its 2002 Memorial Day address:

“Changing the date merely to create three-day weekends has undermined the very meaning of the day. No doubt, this has contributed greatly to the general public’s nonchalant observance of Memorial Day.”

“To all that have fallen…
Mothers, Fathers, Sister and Brothers…
We grieve as you are sorely missed.
Until we are all reunited,
May you rest peacefully in G_d’s arms.”

The Renaissance RoninG_d bless you all! Amen.

“Bubba Boxes” for the masses!

4 Apr

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times…

Our country imports more than it exports! “Lions, and Tigers, and Bears! Oh My!”

It’s called a “trade deficit.” But one byproduct of this development is the metal mountains of empty shipping containers piling up at  shipping ports and transport centers. And it’s not just here, either! These containers are becoming a blight on the landscape, blocking out the sun, and ruining the “environment” of the locals!

What to do with them all?

Fear not! There are groups of innovative architects, engineers, and alternative housing visionaries who have THE answer!

How about an inexpensive home? Or maybe an Art studio in your backyard? Or how about a self-contained weekend get-away? Do you need a medical clinic in a remote area? And I bet somebody could use some FEMA type relief-housing after a natural disaster that actually makes sense!

Hey, howabouts a cozy “Corten cabin” in the backyard for when the “In-Laws” come to visit? I mean, that way… they’d have their own space and they wouldn’t feel like they were intruding on you… Yeah, right!

And you could slip out in the middle of the night, all “ninja-like…” slap a padlock on those wonderfully sturdy doors, and ship that puppy off to China! I’d tell ya the rest of the “plan,” but my wife is watching me type… 🙂

Lots of people all around the planet are building prefab, ecologically intelligent structures from empty cargo containers. And this may come as a shock to some of you… but they’ve been doing it for decades.


A 40 foot container can cost you anywhere from $800 to $2000, plus a shipping fee to your building sight. That’s kind of crazy sounding, huh? You have to pay a shipping fee, to get a shipping container. Well, just like you learned in high school Science class; “There ain’t no free lunch!” 🙂

There are several companies and organizations  in America now, like [ISBU2YOU] that will actually outfit the container with doors, windows, insulation, HVAC, and all the amenities your little heart desires, from utilitarian (like building in composting toilets), to upscale (like installing solar and PV arrays).

Let’s face it, you either like ISBUs, or you hate them. I personally think that they get a bad rap, but that’s just me. Using the containers as housing is a  fascinating concept to some, and an  “industrial waste – eye sore” to others…


But whatever your view, you have to admit that our concept of the world is changing fast. “McMansions” are out, and “Microhouses” are “IN!” And, GREEN is all the rage! It’s time to re-utilize the junk we’ve spent decades creating, and reconfigure the way we think, so we can reevaluate “our right to the disposable lifestyles” that we’ve been living, before it’s too late!

Now may be the perfect time. For the first time in “real” history, the Government is actually looking for alternatives to housing. It’s quite possible that there are “Stimulus Bill” dollars available to build a home out of recycled shipping containers. We’re going through the bill line by line, looking for places where we might find some assistance.  The way I see it, if we can bail out AIG, it’s time we bailed out families. American Families. You know, the people who actually built America in the first place!

Look, houses aren’t the only things you can build out of these wonderful boxes. Containers make perfect low cost structures for clinics in remote or impoverished areas. A building such as this might mean the difference in a non-profit having the money to start medical services or letting people suffer and die. Facility expenses can be a huge burden when calculating the money needed to get a project off the ground.


A pal of mine, Paul Stankey has built a terrific “Holyoke Cabin” in Minnesota. It’s a “small scale beauty,” a masterpiece full of natural light and industrial-urban attitude out in the woods. It just takes creativity to create a sense of intrigue by capitalizing on the aspects of building with metal containers! Plus, it’s cheap, and the materials are readily available!


Although Paul used “little boxes,” all the structural load in an 8-by-40-by-9 1/2-foot container is carried by the corner castings, steel columns at each of the four corners. This means that doors and windows can occur anywhere else in  the structure. Whole walls can be cut out and replaced with glass, and interior walls can be anywhere or nowhere.

You can build in walls that slide out (just like in an RV) to make your ISBU cabin even bigger! And when it’s time to go home, you just push the sliders in, lock the container doors, and off you trot! And, Your cabin is secure!

Plus, as an added bonus… The boxes can be stacked like giant Lego blocks, cantilevered into space to create intriguing overhangs and practical decks, or cut apart and reassembled into new configurations. Talk about versatile!


So why aren’t you building one? Hmmm?

container-cabinEven a “modest” box makes a splendid cabin!

Help is available. There’s a new group setting up shop in late April, called “ISBU2YOU” that’s going to start turning out cabins you can truck anywhere, set down, and then, pick up and move to greener pastures, if you decide to! Think of it as an “Armor Plated RV.”

I call ’em “Bubba Boxes.”

They’ve promised me that they’re going to get a detail package ready, so that you can learn how to live in the woods (or anywhere else for that matter) in style, while your friends and neighbors go broke spending a lifetime paying for mortgages, second homes, and hotel bills! ! They’ll give you all the details on how they’ll fab a container cabin for you, and ship it out to your site!

Now I actually know these guys, and I’ve seen the stuff that they’ve built, “far afield” in disaster relief efforts. It’s amazing what you can do, with a little bit of creative energy, and a plasma cutter!

For the price of a new full-sized car, you could be in a nice warm container-cabin, without a huge mortgage! Think of the possibilities! Add a water line, and an electrical cord, and voila!

You’re in heaven!

Stay tuned!

The Renaissance RoninAnd please remember that we’re trying desperately to save this blog. As my wife’s illness worsens, the budget gets tighter and tighter. If you like what you read, and it helps you find your path, please consider hitting the Paypal button, and donatining a few bucks to the cause, okay? We really want to keep this blog going!

One more time… with feeling!

5 Mar

Okay… I don’t know if it’s just the new year arriving… but RenaissanceRonin has just had both the best week AND the best month since I started writing the blog!

Perhaps I got help from President Obama and his Stimulus Bill, mass hysteria, or even a sudden burst of “Green Envy!…” Whatever it was, I’m glad to see it.

It’s odd, too. I’d been thinking I might STOP writing the blog altogether. In the beginning, I started the blog to share information as we built our new home. After all, it’s not every day that you see somebody stack Shipping Containers up in the yard, and then move into them!

prefab1Ain’ t this a beaut’? I hope ours turns out as nice!

I’d hoped to stimulate some conversations about affordable and innovative home design and “thinking out of the box” to find new ways to accomplish things a lot of us take for granted.

And try as I might, I can’t seem to get that started. It takes a long time to write some of these posts, and that time taken out of my day, adds up. Blogs are about more than just “numbers of readers…”  In the 8 months and change since we’ve started, we’ve seen about 20,000 of you pass through. But I’ll point out that blogs, especially “niche blogs” that speak to a small (very specialized) audience, are all about “growth.” And the best way to measure that, is by seeing how your readers use what you’ve written. The best indicator of that, is the reactions in the comment sections of your posts.

Although I’ve written over 110 posts now… each one compelling, enthralling, interesting, and informative (I know… stop rolling your eyes!) 🙂 , the comments section for most of these posts are as empty as a graveyard after dark…

And that is really, really discouraging. It’s a tough thing to talk about in my house, when we’re doing the bills at the end of the month, and I have to justify that $55 to pay for “blogging bandwidth…” Sometimes… that $55 just isn’t there to spend… And the cable company won’t take “Muppet Money…” Damn!


It sounds trivial to you, I’m sure… but if you’ve really read my posts, you know where we are coming from and where we’re trying to get to… Things are tight, and something’s gonna have to give, soon…

My point remains the same;

America is buying so much merchandise from other countries (like China and Japan) and selling so little product back to them that shipping containers are actually becoming an environmental hazard. Apparently it is cheaper to manufacture new ones on the opposite side of the ocean than transport the empty ones back to where they originated from.


In port cities and areas around inland freight transit terminals hundreds of thousands of empty containers are piling up. The stacks, dozens of containers high, loom over the landscape . There are even residential neighborhoods in some of their shadows where the sun sets an hour earlier than in the surrounding areas.


But people (labeled “environmental entrepreneurs” by some) are finding new uses for those boxes sitting in our shipping yards… and we’re talking about modular housing.


Really, folks… some of the designs aren’t bad at all, as long as you don’t know “it’s a gigantic Corten Steel box” to begin with. THAT realization seems to be the primary problem… the stigma attached to “a new life from an old box” that was originally designed to be used to haul freight all over G_d’s creation…


The irony here shouldn’t be lost on anyone. As a country whose economy is falling faster than a bad facelift, America’s manufacturing base is moving off-shore and the only thing most working Americans have to show for it, besides a bunch of Chinese crap from Wal-Mart and a debt load that is skyrocketing faster than the Space Shuttle, is stacks and stacks of empty cargo containers littering their landscape, and blocking out the sun.

I know of places where the Container Mountains literally block out the sun and turn previously healthy lawns into muddy brown pits of despair. We’re talking enough containers to house most of the South’s Homeless, with containers left over, for a few Yankees! 🙂

The average American family is spending themselves into poverty but the good news is that they’ll have a place to live when they run out of credit and their houses are repossessed.

I just hope that we get our own house built, before that happens to us…

So, I suppose we owe China a big “THANK YOU!” for leaving their empty boxes here!

And whatever we decide to do… “to blog or not to blog…” (it’s going to come down to what we can afford to continue doing) I just want to thank you guys and gals for stopping in to see what we’re trying to accomplish here in “Shipping Container Hell…” um…er… coastal Mississippi!

And, here’s where Ronin takes a slow step or two… I’m too poor to be proud, right about now, and I hate asking, but… If the blog is important to you, I encourage you consider helping us with some of the costs involved. If that sounds like something you’d like to do, just  hit that PAYPAL button up top, on the right…

We’d be grateful for your support!

Stay tuned!

The Renaissance Ronin

“The Stimulus” has stimulated my brain…

1 Mar

You know… it’s funny…

All things really do come back around!

When I was a kid, my parents (“Gawd fearin’, man-killin’, shoot–em-up and eat the entrails”)  US Marines, had us convinced that the world was going to come to an end in our lifetimes.

So, while most kids grew up on Bambi movies and trips to the Ice Cream Shop (does anybody remember “Foster’s Freeze?”) we grew up on “Bambi Burgers” and instead of settling down in front of the TV every Sunday night to watch Walt Disney…


We found ourselves forced to watch John Wayne, Audey Murphy, and “Tora, Tora, Tora” kinda stuff… and as we got older, we saw post-apocalyptic action thrillers… because “someday we’d be forced to speak Russian or Chinese and work as slaves, if we weren’t careful!”

You’re old enough to remember stuff like “Mad Max,” and  “Red Dawn…,” right?


Well, we watched stuff kinda like that. After all, the point of post-apocalyptic movies was that people did survive, even if they had to endure horrible things in the process. Oy!


Other parents took their kids on camping trips to the beach where they played in the surf, they BBQ’d, and the boys spent the entire weekend, looking at girls.  Not in MY family. We went to places like Joshua Tree (out in the middle of the CA desert) where we got dropped off miles before the spot my parents would camp, equipped with a knife (a Kabar), a canteen full of water, some beef jerky, a couple of Hershey Bars, a length of rope and some fishing line, and a thermal blanket. We roasted sinewy rabbits (that we snared) over a small campfire (small enough to remain “unseen” in case “the Chinese were actually watching”),  suspended by green twigs.


And, if we didn’t make it to the campsite (“HQ”) by the time my parents were ready to “bug out…” we were in serious trouble! You think I’m kidding, but I’m not!

BTW: My older brother and I used to smuggle small .22 caliber pistols into our “gear” when Dad wasn’t looking. Rabbits are smarter than you’d think!


Ever since the bailouts, I’ve started listening to the people around me, whining and complaining about the decaying  state of politics… and America, in general.

And it’s increased in decibel level, since President Obama started going on TV to describe the Stimulus Bill, and all the debt that America is taking on.

The natives are getting restless, folks! Although I grew up thinking that my parents were insane (they WERE Marines, after all!), now, it’s all starting to make sense… and that’s not good.

(Now, before you start in on me… I love Marines.  L-O-V-E them. “God Bless ‘Em, every single one of them.” Nothing makes me prouder than hearing about “our boys” (be they “man” or “woman” – I’m talking  “serious” terms of endearment here) out there doing what has to be done. Regardless of where you stand on the “current state of war,” you have to admire and respect people who are willing to fight and die for things they believe in. America needs Heroes. The US Marines grows them. Semper Fi!  ‘Nuff said.)

Years ago, we built a home for some friends who decided to “dig in and drop out.” They wanted to build an “earth sheltered house” that you couldn’t see, unless you were standing right on top of it.

And you wouldn’t be, because “the Daddy” was an extremely bad dude. I grew up in one of “those families.” You know the ones… We had a “war shrine” in the living room. We had an American Flag hanging in the front yard. We have ancestors buried at Arlington National Cemetery. We had “weapons of mass destruction” hanging on all the walls. (Okay, in our case it was “huge calibered, high powered, bust a cap and kill everyone in the room” kinda stuff…) My father was an honest to Gawd “Korea and Vietnam Legend.”  (His friends called him “Colonel Killzone…”) We were constantly surrounded by “really bad dudes” fresh from the fight.  I’m not talking about street punks with AK’s. I’m talking about guys that, when pushed, could change history wherever they found their feet… Guys who KNEW death by it’s “first name” and weren’t afraid of anything… much.

We heard all the stories told late at night, spoken softly over bottles of Scotch, with softly playing  radio designed to drown it out, so that we couldn’t hear it. Tales told by “men made of iron – with tear filled eyes,” guys who were honoring the “cherished memory of the fallen…” And, most of them would have traded places with those heroes in a heartbeat. Sometimes it hurts more to survive…

(If you don’t understand this, you’ve just never been there, and you should thank your lucky stars for that. Some of us aren’t so lucky.)

As a result, we had really, really, high “fear” thresholds.

And this guy… well… he scared the hell out of us!


Okay, that’s not his “real” picture. But in my defense, he said if we ever dared take his photograph, he’d hunt us down like dogs… and kill us… two times! And we believed him!

I’d been “summering” up in Northern California, in a remote cabin on a river. It was good times. The DEA and ATF were on the loose, trying to run off all the guys growing “pot.” We had a “Hari Krisna” temple right down the road.

And surprisingly, they were about the nicest people you’d ever want to meet (the Krishna’s… not the DEA)! If you ever needed help doing anything at all, the Hari Krisna’s  were always right there, ready to pitch in. And, everybody knows that Krishna girls don’t wear bras… or evidently underwear. So, we ALWAYS needed their help, for something… 🙂

There were naked hippies in the river, just about 24/7. (And confidentially, some of those hippie girls were HOT…hot…hot!)  The beer was always ice cold (we kept it in the river), the fish were jumping (we drank the beer while we were fishing… duh!),  and an early morning bowhunt always put game on the table.

And then… HE showed up.

That guy. The one I was telling you about. And once he got there, he decided that he wasn’t leaving. We’ll call him “Uncle G.”

At first, we were “apprehensive.” I mean, we knew “Uncle G” wouldn’t kill us… because we were “kindred.”  Hell, we’d had nightmares about him since we were kids! “Uncle G” had “war wounds.” WE had “war wounds.” We were “isolationists who just kept to ourselves.” “Uncle G” was just antisocial. I mean, the kind of antisocial that they criminally prosecute you for. The banjos playin’ in the background, “Deliverance” kinda antisocial… 🙂

(Just kiddin’ “Uncle G!” Now put the gun down… I’ll just back out of the room slowly, okay? I mean, nobody needs to get hurt, right?)

He was “Married with children.” And I’m not talking “Al Bundy.” More like “Ted Bundy.” And his daughters were… um…er… breathtaking… all 4 of them.

As in, if you looked at them twice… he’d take your breath away, permanently.

So, we bribed him with fish, freshly killed deer, some jerky when we had it to spare, produce from our garden, and several good bottles of 10 year old single-malt Scotch.

(Because, campers… Giving a “mountain dwelling serial killer” bottles of good Scotch will keep him from killing you. I know it sounds crazy, but evidently it’s true!) 😉

Anyway, they were living in two old school buses that they’d converted into RV’s. So after about 3 months of this, Momma wasn’t having fun anymore. Nuh-uh! So, “Daddy” decided that he’d better find new digs, or he’d be “flying solo.”

Imagine our shock when he showed up on our porch, wanting to “talk.”

Now, we immediately started stammering about how we’d never even looked at his daughters!… and that we’d never do it again!… and that if he’d spare us… (“please, please, oh gawd… please!”)… we’d gouge our own eyes out with dull wooden spoons, so he wouldn’t have to do it… We pleaded with him not to kill us! We said he could just “hurt us a little bit and we’d never tell!”  We cried like schoolgirls who got their best shoes all muddy!

(Hey, don’t laugh! It was the only plan we could come up with! This guy made Rambo look like one of the “Village People!”) 🙂

And he just started laughing…

It was one of those “Muuuuwahhhhhaahhhaaahhhaaaa!” laughs so bone-chilling that even thinking about it to this very day, sends more chills running up my spine than… um… er… never mind… why should I tell you?

It turns out that he just wanted our help.

He’d seen what we’d done with a couple of shipping containers that we’d hauled up from the coast. And he wanted to do something similar, to make a home for his family, before his wife “helped him wake up in the morning, dead as a stone.”

A year before, we’d gone down to Crescent City, and acquired a couple of shipping containers. Now folks claimed that we’d absconded with them, but we don’t see how that could have possibly been true, because it’s not like you can actually steal a big steel box that sticks out like a sore thumb, and haul it off into the wilderness, without someone seeing you do it… unless it’s really dark.

Seriously, we’d hauled them up onto flatbed trailers (using a tractor and a few winches) and then we drug them behind pickup trucks, up and down several miles of pretty difficult logging roads, to reach their final destination. Once we arrived and covered up our tracks… we set those containers  up on concrete blocks, slapped roofs on them, built porches around them, and then… well… never mind. It’s not important and I don’t remember exactly how “the statute of limitations” actually works! 😉

But the “fast and dirty” of it is that they became “1 room cabins, with a view.”

Unfortunately, the “view” was of the local bears pillaging around at the “dump,” but it WAS a “view…” just not a very good one… And if the bears got too close, you could just run inside and slam the double steel doors closed! Bears can’t get thru Corten Steel… can they? Gulp!

Anyway… They  (the “Corten Cabins,” not the bears!)  had small “Swedish Stoves” inside them (for heat and cooking), the bed folded out of the wall, we built “skylights” (that leaked like a waterfall for a while), and even a “real” window or two.  We insulated them with fiberglass batts, and then we put paneling over it. The bathroom was a hike outdoors to the “bunkerfied” port-a-potty, until we could build a suitable “outhouse.”

“Uncle G” decided that he wanted to do likewise, but he wanted to further fortify them by pushing dirt up around them. Voila! Our first “Underground Corten Castle” was born!

And that… is the guts of this post… I bet you thought I’d never get to the point, huh?

With all this talk about “survival, succession, and suffering…” It made me remember that home we built him.  And it looked something like this;

simple_bunker_comp1It was about 2500 square feet, a three bdrm, 2 bath home (although one of them was in the “basement”), with all the amenties that you’d expect in a house, but it was “underground.” Okay, the basement was mostly underground. The rest of the home was covered in dirt, after we covered it in rigid insulation and concrete.

It took us the better part of three summers to build it. “Uncle G” lived with his family in the central section while it was being built. There were no “Planning and Zoning Nazis,” and even if there had been, he’d have just killed and eaten them.  😉

If you could get close enough to it to actually “see” it, you looked down into a submerged courtyard, that we used to call “the crypt.” Why? Because if you were stupid enough to try and climb down into it, he’d bury you! That’s why.

We built retaining walls off the main structure (we had literally TONS of river rock at our disposal, and Hari Krisna’s who would “work for food…”) and they (the walls, not the pony-tailed crazies) ran out about 25 feet, to another pair of containers, that were converted into a 16’x16′ 2 story greenhouse on one side, a 16’x16′  “office” on the other, and an 8′ path down the middle that served as a “steel bailey.”

It was basically just a fortified entry door gauntlet. Trust me… you didn’t want to sell Amway to anybody at this house (or even a vacuum cleaner) unless you wanted to disappear, forever.

It was one of those places where the signs that were posted said:

“If you can read this… You’re already DEAD.”

And “Uncle G” wasn’t kidding.

You know, I kinda miss old “Uncle G”. I’m gonna give him a call…

Stay tuned!

The Renaissance RoninLook… I’m recycling, reclaiming, and even BEGGING for material (sometimes “on my knees”) because my family’s SURVIVAL is at stake.
I’m asking you to get involved.
If I’ve helped you, informed you, educated you, or just entertained you… consider donating a few bucks to the blog, to help us survive and rebuild OUR home. Our family needs a home. Our situation is dire. And yes, I’m begging… I’m not going to waste bandwidth plastering pictures up of my wife in her sickbed… or my little 2 year old son. I’ve written about the circumstances here, already.
If you guys and gals show any interest in this, I’ll see If I can remember the floorplan… It was real simple, easy to build, and they (“Uncle G”, his wife, and a few grand-babies) still live there, to this day. I’m amazed. I figured that he’d be rotting away in some Federal Maximum Security Penitentiary by now!

Who’s Cleaning up America?

20 Sep

My family is currently building ourselves back into a home, using rather unconventional means to fulfill our requirements for shelter.

You see, we’re using ISBU’s (shipping containers) and recycled steel aircraft hangars to build the box we’ll live in, and find shelter from the storms…

(This isn’t our house, but ain’t it cool?)

Where was I? Oh yeah…

Our “Shipping Container Casa” build is an idea that found it’s roots in desperation, and need. We lost our home in Hurricane Katrina, and the insurance company we trusted to protect us, didn’t even come close to fulfilling the task we paid them for. In fact, they claim that they don’t have the assets to pay us (and almost 3,000 other families here) and have dragged us around in courtrooms for years. And, it’s not over yet, by a long shot. I’ve talked about this before, so I’m not going to repeat myself. Suffice to say, if someone had paid me to perform a service, and then I refused to fulfill my part, after cashing thousands of dollars in payment checks, you can bet your butt I’d go to jail. It’s called “fraud.” It’s a pity that insurance companies have so many friends in Congress…

While we’re working through creating our own “state of the union” by planning, designing, and building, we’re starting to wonder what’s in store for everyone in America, as we move towards a new administration.

I really try not to get “political.” Honest, I do. But I have an investment here, too. I have a family to take care of, and it’s hard enough keeping your head up above water, without all the ridiculous behavior I’ve seen lately. The news is actually starting to terrify me.

You see, our new house is actually located in another “house” we all call America. And, if THAT house fails, we’re all screwed no matter how well we’ve built our personal families homes. All the building in the world won’t fix it if the country goes to hell in a handbasket.

So, as the elections draw closer, and the fur starts to fly (so to speak) I wonder what changes are in store for us as Americans, in the next decade?

I watched George Jr giving a speech today, about the bailouts of the big lending institutions. He’s telling us “to be calm,” and remember that we all have a responsibility to insure that the credit of the free world survives intact. (I’m paraphrasing, here.) He thinks that burdening the taxpayers with billions of dollars of additional debt, is good for us, our children, and the nation. Of course, he gets a “free pass.” His Administration is almost over, he’s rich, and he’ll find protection from the taxes he levies on us all. Oy Vay!

This is a guy who can’t even ride a Segway… Hmmm… That should mean something, to anybody paying attention.

(Sorry about the blurred photo! Those “Secret Service” guys can run faster than I thought! You’d have thought all those donuts would have slowed them down!) LOL!

The taxpayers are being burdened with bailout after bailout, as the Government transfers the responsibility for literally tons of bad loans to be subsidized, to save the greedy few who actually “took the risks.” Freddy, Fanny, and AIG are going to cost the taxpayers of this nation billions of dollars, and we, the people, will have nothing to show for it… except decades of debt that we have to repay.

You see, we’re seeing the result of unregulated “free enterprise.”  That result is privatized profits, and socialized risks and costs.  And we all know that when you allow people to do anything they want, the result is always the same… greedy, careless, extremely risky… bad behavior.

Now, while this was happening, the powers that be sold us the “government hands-off” strategy, purportedly to keep government out of private business and our private lives. However, the real end result is just the exact opposite.

And now, the “government” will own Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, AIG, and every other bank that they decide to bail out. Of course, the government involvement isn’t the “real” OMG (Oh my gawd!) problem. Once again, “we the people” have to foot the bills for buying these ridiculously overrated companies using our “credit,” with no date (or even a plan) to ever pay them off.

It is just an endless stream of interest payments, that will continue long after all of us, and even our children, are dead. And the money has to come from somewhere, so taxes will have to go up, so that each and every one of us can “pay our share.”

There has been a terrible lack of regulations in the operation of these companies. These hallowed lending institutions are built on the principle that you cook your books, to build your assets. And since most of these assets are actually bad debt, when the pyramid stars to collapse, it’s all downhill…

(And remember that a house in foreclosure, is still listed as an asset. But I bet they don’t change the change in property value to reflect that…)

Economic gurus are now claiming that these companies are actually worth about 10% of what they boast, on “real” paper.

So, maybe the sky really is falling. But, it’s not necessarily the “Global Warming” catastrophe that we need to be immediately concerned with, after all. Our system is actually failing us.

I’ve always been of the opinion that it isn’t immoral at all, to ask for our share of the profits, as Oil Tyrants rake in billions of our dollars in profits, government hand-outs, and subsidies. After all, if we the people are subsidizing these conglomerates, why do we only get called in when it’s time to assess risks when things go south? Aren’t we entitled to a return on our investment when they’re raking in all those profits, and taking business trips to the Whitsundays, on all those fancy yachts? ?

And lets not forget that these same goons are receiving free security (because WE pay for it) by the US military, and they are immune to restitution caused by all the environmental and financial damages they cause.

Let’s face it. The crowd has been worked into a frenzy by self-aggrandizing goons peddling “the sky is falling” speeches. The problem is that while THEY get rich at our expense, we all continue to suffer. Energy costs are going through the roof. Gas prices are soaring, even though the powers that be claim it’s going to get back under control, soon. It looks like we’d better get used to paying $4 a gallon, because it looks like that’s gonna be the new “benchmark,” in spite of what the candidates are telling us.

Oil prices are hitting all time highs, and soon $100 a barrel will be the “norm.”

The air is filled with cries of “Drill, baby, Drill!” while the environmentalists in America scream in agony as the prospect of oil companies piercing the planet causes them to have “conniption fits.”

Al Gore is dancing like a trained bear, hawking his tired old speech about “Global Warming” at $3000 a minute to anyone with enough cash to pander to it. Of course, his own mansion is NOT a good example of his “preaching…” It’s just “Do as I say, and not as I do…” I guess. Bastard!

T. Boone Pickens is plying the airwaves with his wind and natural gas schemes, in a guise that reminds me, strangely enough, of Ross Perot.

(Pickens’s name makes me immediately think of a geriatric rapper, complete with about 35 gold chains and baubles hanging around his neck…)

But, how are the candidates going to clean America?

Over the next couple of days, I’m gonna take a look at what the candidates are claiming they’ll do, “When they get elected.”

I’m not gonna get all “Republican and Democrat.” I’m not gonna pander to Palin’s “boob shirts,” “Mini-skirt MILF” photos, or even her “bikini photos,” and throw rocks.

This undated photo provided by the Heath family shows Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin in her dorm room at the University of Idaho.
This undated photo provided by the Heath family shows Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin in her dorm room at the University of Idaho.

Okay, yes I am… Let’s face it, in a time where things aren’t that funny, these are entertaining, to say the least… Even the “fakes” are funny…

(But ya gotta love her! You know you’ve made it when they start photoshopping your face onto somebody else’s photos! Boy, is she taking shots for those… Even the feminist lesbians are pissed at her!) LOL!

I’m just gonna look at what Obama and McCain are saying/promising, and then measure the messages against “reality.”

Who do you choose? Who can you trust? Are they both lying? What to do?

It should prove interesting. After all, if the land our house is built on is suddenly in crisis, how good can our life be, while we live in it? What do we leave for our children? And what lessons does this behavior TEACH our kids?

Hell, I was worried that Hillary wasn’t gonna be able to find a new job, until I saw this;

At least the Clinton’s won’t starve, now that they’ve pissed off everybody in the Free World… LOL!

And remember the lesson learned here today;

“It’s okay to fail spectacularly! Make as much as you can, until the bottom falls out! Uncle will bail you out!”

It’s not the lesson I want my kids to learn. They have enough trouble, knowing that Ronin is their daddy… LOL!

Stay tuned!

Dancing with snakes is for Baptists!

3 Jul

Last time, we took a hard look at the road John McCain will have to trod, on his trek to the White House.

(This time, let’s look further into the “magic 8-ball,” and shed some light on a running mate for Barack Obama.)

The first name that comes to mind, and probably the first name on a lot of people’s “A” Lists, is Hillary Clinton;

(Man, oh man, I hate even “typing” that name… My computer is probably gonna get a virus!)

Okay, I talked about Hillary a few weeks back, before it became clear that there was no way in hell that she’d be able to pull off the Democratic nomination for President.

I voiced some concerns then, and I’ll add a few now, since Barack now has to figure out who to add to his dance card, so that he can go out and campaign for “Universal King of the Prom.”

Hillary is a snake. There, I’ve said it.

She’s not a “powerful woman seeking to aid the country by leading ,” she’s a power-hungry person who would sell her own soul, or even her daughter (apparently) to become President of the United States. And all snakes get hungry, and demonstrate their “true” nature, sooner or later.

Let’s face it, all the Clinton’s care about is their own fame and fortune. They’ve been riding that bus since Arkansas, and I don’t see them getting off, any time soon.  I’m not going to go on a rant about Bill, because he’s not the topic here, no matter how many times he sticks his big nose into the cameras, to speak on behalf of his wife.

But, Hillary is a real piece of work. This is a woman so drunk for power that she would literally shotgun her own party, to push herself into the Oval Office. In fact, if you consider how many enemies she made on the campaign trail, it’s obvious that she did exactly that.

If you watch CNN, or any other news program on the planet, there is one thing I’m here to guarantee you of;

You’re gonna get a nightly dose of Hillary’s forced smiles, her crocodile tears, her “holier than thou” attitude, and a belly full of her fake promises that she never intends to keep. Have you really looked at her voting record?

Why should the White House be any different than her NY Senate seat? (A seat that I’ll remind you she had to “carpetbag” to get, by schlepping from Little Rock to NYC.)

If you look at her objectively, you have to admit that she’s “driven.”

Somebody I really admire said recently that she reminded him of an “even further deranged Leona Helmsley.” After all, Hillary isn’t exactly trying to disguise her “infamous” nature, as a back-stabbing, mean-spirited, vindictive  brat (I was gonna use another word, but my son is watching me type).

Beyond that, you can’t ignore the fact that the Clinton’s have a dark cloud following them around. Do you remember the Arkansas real estate deals, turning a grand into $100 grand in cattle futures in less than a year, appointing her cronies (the Thomasons) to replace the entire White House travel staff, the discovery of hundreds of FBI files on prominent Republics in the White House, and a lot more…

And, she holds a few “first lady” records, to boot;

She’s the first “First Lady” to ever be subpoenaed (the Whitewater Scandal);

And she’s the first “First Lady” ever actually caught stealing furniture, art, and other historic treasures from the White House, on the way out the door…

(Only when the evidence surfaced, and the story broke, did she return anything she took.)

But the thing that scares me most is when she stated in public that;

“She will be ready on day one to assume the presidency…”

If you were Obama, what would you think that meant? Hmmm? This is, after all, a woman surrounded by conspiracy.

My warning bells would be going off like the “core-breach klaxons on the Starship Enterprise.”

She’s no more experienced than Obama to lead, anyway. Oh sure, she’s actually lived at the White House (and she evidently knew where all the “good” stuff was stashed), but her leadership has only come from a seat she won twice, in a state she had to crawl to, to gain entry into the senate. And, she’s demonstrated that she’s neither trustworthy (Look out! There’s a sniper!), or believable. Her moral backbone is as twisted as a Bonsai tree.

She hasn’t done anything that proves to me that she has what it takes to be the “Leader of the Free World” (or even “a” leader).

Not now, not today, probably not ever.

And if you dance with snakes, sooner or later, you’re gonna need anti-toxin. And a band-aid.


My Son is Going To INHERIT “WHAT?”

2 Jul

Okay, I’ve been thinking lately…

And that can’t be good. But sometimes, you have to just sit down, and listen to the voices…

I have a new son. He’s not even walking yet, but someday he’ll be able to run. And when that time comes, I want him to have the freedom to run toward his goals and his dreams, and not be forced to run away from the chaos his parents, and his grandparents created for him to inherit.

You see, I believe that I owe my son a better chance than I had. And I think that most parents think similarly.

These are difficult times. Headlines, and CNN scream at us daily about the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Israel is getting ready to deal with Iran, and I assure you that we’ll get drawn into that conflict in a major way.

With the election right around the corner, Americans have to start weighing the options, and determine who will lead us through what looks to be very troubling times.

In previous posts, I’ve already talked about my feelings where Hillary and Barack are heading…

So, now that things are coming to a head, I’m going to take a hard look at both sides of this “gamblers coin,” and try to start a dialog about what we do next, after the “new guy” moves into the White House.

Since (according to virtually everyone around me) I’m a Rethuglican, we’ll take some shots at John McCain, first…

Everyone knows that our “Republican in Residence” President Bush can barely speak in public, without putting his foot in his mouth. He’s not doing anybody any favors. In fact, his attempts at “help,“ are like putting a loaded handgun in your mouth, and counting to five. John McCain has distanced himself from the president, primarily (I think) to shield himself from Bush’s “open mouth, insert foot” mentality and press relationship. It’s hard enough out there, without having to make excuses for the President of the United States.

And John, oh John… Well, let’s just say that he’s inheriting a mess, if he gets the privilege of taking up residency at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

I’m worried about ole’ John. You see, he hasn’t figured out yet that it’s not smart to piss off your friends, when your enemies are lining up against you, in droves.

Now, some of those “enemies” are easily identified, because they’re (gasp!) Democrats.

And the “friends” I’m speaking of here are the conservatives that John has failed to impress with his abilities.

McCain hasn’t done much to dispel the dark cloud he’s created over his head. It’s a cloud of distrust, and frustration, to say the least, that is easy for everyone to see. The conservatives among us (God Bless ‘Em!) are starting to get restless. You see, John hasn’t exactly traveled the same path they walk, and in areas like “tax reform,” “abortion,” “immigration,” and even the rights granted us by the First and Second Amendments, he’s failed miserably. John McCain is definitely not Ronald Reagan.

And, I think it’s going to take somebody like Ronnie (may he rest in peace) to get us firmly back on track.

If you turn on your radio during the day, or sit in front of your cable tv at night, you can see what’s happening. Talk shows run by guys like Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh (just to name a few) have whipped conservatives into an anti-McCain frenzy. And McCain still doesn’t understand that he better start talking, or pretty soon, it’s going to be too late, and the tide will have turned irrevocably against him.

Time is running out. A smart guy would have circled the wagons, and prepared for the battle. And you’d think, that John, being a “military guy,” would think that through. But so far, I suspect he’s gotten complacent  and believes his own press. He thinks that as easily as he seemingly shored up the Republican Nomination, he’s gonna take America by storm.

Well, I think he’s got a lesson or two coming, as well as a firm crack on the head, right between the eyes, with the “ugly stick.” Because, it’s about to get ugly.

One thing I’m sure of is that McCain can’t take on Obama all by his onesies. He’s gonna need all the conservatives he can carry on his back. And, I think he’s gonna need a “Noah’s Ark full of Evangelicals,” too. The hard part is that McCain obviously isn’t very fond of the conservatives he’s going to be forced to court, to finish this dance.

And, Obama knows this. You can be sure of that. If I was Barack Obama, I’d probably have dreams of John McCain, caught in the middle of the road, like a deer in the headlights. Because he’s a smart guy, smart enough to realize that John has gotten himself into a war on two flanks, and that can’t be good. John’s gonna have his hands full trying to convince conservatives that he’s their guy, and take on Barack Obama at the same time.

Both of those battles are going to be incredibly difficult to fight, both in terms of energy, and good old cash. Having to fight them at the same time, well… the rules of warfare clearly point out the benefits of “divide and conquer.” And Barack got the conditions handed to him, on a silver platter.

If I was John, I’d be puckering up, and getting ready to kiss serious conservative butt. Because if he doesn’t, well, remember what happened to that poor deer caught in the headlights?

And if that wasn’t enough, this is just the beginnings of John McCain’s problems.

John McCain’s voting record is disgraceful. Conservatives are disappointed with America’s domestic performance. Sure, Bush cut a few token taxes, but he also spent us into what looks like recession, if you believe guys like Warren Buffett. And John, by simply being a Republican, is going to inherit all that animosity, unless he convinces them that he can fix the problems.

And that’s a major piece of work that John McCain has cut out for him.  He better get his boat in the water and start navigating quick, or he’s gonna sink faster than an old  “Swiftboat.”